Friends and family gathered at an intimate memorial service at Houghton Hotel, Johannesburg to bid farewell to Real Housewives Of Johannesburg season one star Naledi Willers, who recently passed after a short battle with cancer.
Last year, Naledi took to social media to speak openly about her battle with breast cancer.
“If I look like I've just been through a war, it's because I have. On 29 Nov. 2019 I was diagnosed with stage two triple-negative breast cancer. This was also the day I wrote the last exam of my law degree while waiting for the call bearing my results,” she told her followers.
“I spent the past short while posting pictures taken around this time last year so I can show what a difference a year makes, and to say that through all those changes. I'm still here. Still, fighting? Does the fight for survival ever end? I choose to say, still healing, still improving. Every day I draw another breath, still winning.”
MC and close friend, Sipho Tyirha welcomed the guests and described Naledi as someone who did not hold back her thoughts and who was intelligent.
“We are here to celebrate the life of a young lady who was not only beautiful but witty, super-intelligent, never spoke with a forked tongue. She was very honest; one could speak until they run out of superlatives to speak of Naledi.”
A video clip recording of a bald Naledi sharing the beginning of her journey with cancer was shared at the memorial service. Naledi said she had learned how to suffer in silence.
“I am ready to join the military now,” she says sarcastically. “Because I have learned to suffer in silence and I also believe that if you beat continuously, I will keep state secrets.”
In the video, she takes viewers through her healing process and hospital visits.
“I eventually shifted into a gear called dying inside.”
In the video, Naledi’s teary mom, Bagomi Willers says she has never gone to the hospital because she would be taking some of Naledi’s pains. She accompanies Naledi for a medical check-up where she enquires about cancer.
“I am just here to support my daughter,” she tells the doctors.
“I love her a lot,” she says wiping her tears.
Naledi questions why she was chosen to have cancer.
“I was obsessed with what did I do to make me get it,” Naledi says addressing a group of women in the video.
“After thinking that might die, I went into thinking, ‘oh shit’ my mother is going to panic and die before I could survive,” she adds.
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Speaking briefly, one of Naledi’s best friends Zimbani ’Oneal’ Madumo says he was able to speak about the journey with cancer casually with Naledi.
“I was able to hear what she is not saying. We would go through the banter and meander without being deliberate and discussing what was going on with her,” he says.
Naledi's best friend and entertainer who took care of her in some of her trying times, Babalwa Mneno says Naledi fought until the end.
“I was also very fortunate to spend Naledi’s last years with her. What breaks me more is that she fought so hard. The first time I believed she would never go back to the pain she went through, and we were together on both occasions. When the doctor told her she had to fly back from wherever she was to take more tests because she was noticing something with her blood cells, I encouraged her. I guess it must have been hard. I tried to instill some positivity and told her, just be strong, God will never take you away from us, you are such a beautiful spirit and God doesn’t take strong people,” she says.
“That’s one thing we always bantered about. Naledi is never able to speak positively about herself. She didn’t see what we saw in her. So today because of my numbness, and how I feel, I decide to write a little letter for my beautiful, intelligent, outspoken, free-spirited, soft-life loving friend of mine.”
Babalwa read a heartfelt letter to her friend and says it breaks her heart to see Naledi’s mom lose her only child. “Small granny” as she refers to Naledi’s mom. “You need to know Naledi loved you, she would never leave your side, physically she might have but emotionally she will look over you. When you feel down and in the dark, Naledi will look over you,” Babalwa says.
“I have lost a true warrior. I put it out on Instagram that no one fights my battles as Naledi did.”
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Real Housewives of Johannesburg season one executive producer and friend, Sonia Mbele spoke openly about how she met Naledi, how they became close, falling out, and Naledi’s last days.
“If you know Naledi, you know what music meant to her, she could harmonise like nobody’s business. Naledi loved music. She loved life. I know the mood is somber but I want us to remember the joy she brought into the room.”
Sonia says if she were to write a book about Naledi it would have 10 chapters about how she lived her life and title it Mosadi, a term of endearment they use to call each other.
“It was Mrs SA, I was one of the judges and when she walked in the room, my life was never the same again. It was Top 24, and we needed to eliminate it until Top 12. She did not only blow me away but blew the judges away. There were people who didn’t see what I saw. She got up to Top 19."
They made a pact that if she didn’t make it to Mrs. South Africa, she would take her with wherever she went.
“I knew I had found a little sister,” says Sonia.
“We did everything together, spent almost every day together. She was a jack of all trades in the sisterhood. She could do everything, sing, cook, bake. The sisterhood moved from superficial to deep. I remember when I was going through a divorce, she was there for me. I suffered from depression. It was a public divorce. I would sleep on a Monday and wake up on a Friday. I lost days, sense of self, and meaning of life. She would arrange for friends to come in, clean my house, cook for me, drag me out of bed, put me in the shower, and did it all. I would not have survived that period without her,” Sonia says.
Their fallout was hurtful.
“Our breakup was the most difficult thing I could have gone through. Every day thinking about her, I loved her still. Then there was the rekindle and I picked up the phone and said I can’t live without her,” Sonia says.
“When she was sick, I tried to introduce her to Stem cells. I tried to get her onto that stuff, she was frustrated that didn’t work out. When she asked me to plug her it was too late,” she adds.
Naledi’s mother spoke fondly of her only child and how strong she was until her last days.
“Last year when she got this disease for the first time, she wasn’t really that sick. She was bouncing around, gyming and it was just a test. She was happy. When it came back this year, it came with something else. But she was s fighter, she was very strong. We believed somewhere somehow that she would make it. She met one of these doctors who played God in her life. She was told she had a few months to live. But she fought. I was so proud of her,” says Bagomi.
“She was a wonderful daughter to have. What she went through made me strong and I would not be able to stand here. She made me tougher. I know seeing me standing here, she is clapping hands for me. She never wanted me to lose it in front of people. But I feel strong enough to share this with you all and I know I will get stronger every day. I believe she is watching over me and God is watching over me,” she adds.
“Her father was an artist, Naledi learned to paint. She was multi-talented. She had a hand to give and help others. She went out of her way to help. At home, she left a few kids she was looking after. Every Christmas we would drive around, giving them gifts and dive them around to the kettle posts where we made a braai for her. Whatever happened or didn’t happen, the only thing I know about her is that she was a wonderful person. It’s a bit painful that she is the only daughter I have, and she left this earth without a child. That is difficult,” she says.
She thanked all her friends, doctors, and fans for supporting their family through the tough time.
Naledi’s friend Dudu Zuma gave a detailed encounter of Naledi’s last days and talked of watching her friend die and how the cancer moved to the lungs, brain, and then to the bone.
“The breast cancer had spread. The doctors had given her three years to live. Her speech was affected and she was stuttering uncontrollably and having seizures. In April her hair started falling off and chemo gave her paralysis in the form of pins and needles on her feet and hands. Doctors introduced her to morphine, she would go nights without sleep. She had morphine side effects, hallucinations until she was admitted.
"She struggled to breathe, her lung capacity shrunk, and she was on permanent oxygen. Three seconds without oxygen was a struggle. Naledi’s mom came to South Africa, it was at this time the doctors said there was nothing they can do for her, it was at her dying phase. Towards the end, Naledi knew it was the end. A week before she passed, I told her the reality that it was painful to bear. She said I’m trying hard to fight.”
