He is currently working on his live solo show, which will take place on 1 October at The One Room in Gqeberha.
The last time he had a concert was a few years ago. He's been performing at various events and has featured in a couple of songs here and there.
Singer and songwriter Phelo Bala (31) has regained his spark again and looks forward to sharing his growth with people and the “maturity in his new music”.
“I’ve really come a long way and I can’t wait for people to experience this side of me,” Phelo tells Drum.
“I am doing my very first solo act in the past 17 years that I have been in the industry. It’s a big deal for me. I am getting back into doing shows again. You can’t always wait to be booked. Performing regularly as a passionate artist helps to keep you sane. You always want to keep the music muscle working. And at times we get frustrated by not doing what we love.”
Phelo says the concert will open a door to his life that he has kept locked.
“There is a lot that people will get to know about me. There are layers to me besides what they know will take people through my journey. I thought it would be nice to bring all of me, the gospel, love, relationships, and RnB, and show people who Phelo is. The music will speak for itself,” he says.
“This show is the beginning of change. It’s the beginning of a better me. I am hoping to record it and share it with people. A lot of people who are dealing with something will leave the show with hope and feel like they are not alone.”
He will be performing songs from his debut album Ndim’lo, new material, and some covers.
“I have done two collaborations with my brothers so it would really be nice to have them. But I still need to speak to them. I also have Asanda Bam and a special guest that will be revealed on the night.”
Phelo's disappearance from the music scene was all due to some personal challenges.
“It’s important sometimes to take a step back and deal with personal issues. It’s hard to be out there in public while still dealing with own personal issues. I just needed a break,” he says.
It took him almost a lifetime to love and appreciate his uniqueness and be able to take his joy and pain and put it on paper.
“I’ve had depression I would say all, my life. I used to be quiet and reserved, but I have found my voice and I am no longer afraid to be me,” he says.
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He was 17 years old when he was diagnosed with depression. He was living in boarding school and was rushed to hospital after a suicide attempt.
“I was rushed to the hospital from school after I had attempted suicide,” he says.
“There was a lot happening; dealing with my sexuality, anxiety etcetera and I was very quiet, I bottled up my emotions. I was a nerd and was worried about living my internal life externally because I knew fame would eventually find me because of the music.”
Depression affected his career and self-esteem.
“But I understand that I am where I am meant to be. I am trying every day. I want to pat myself on the back for trying. At times, hope is not there but we try. I am hoping that there more I embrace who I am, the more healing I will get. It’s a daily struggle and it’s easy to get triggered by anything. But I know I can’t deal with everything at once. I don’t like confrontation, and everything needs space. This is my way of dealing with everything slowly.”
Phelo says he has learned to love himself unconditionally.
“I can no longer be sensitive about who I am but how I respond to people is important.”
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This maturity didn’t just come overnight. He had been longing for answers. On the festive season of 2021, he packed his bags while heading home for a brief holiday, but hasn’t been back since. He decided to stay home in Uitenhage mostly for his mental health and to heal from his separation from his husband Moshe Ndiki.
“I decided to go back home for my mental health but also my sangoma things needed my attention. There’s a lot that I needed to fix,” he says.
“Everything deserves its time and everything that needed me to fix was affecting every aspect of my life. There were things, and rituals I had neglected, and these might have a significant influence on how my life will pan out. I didn’t want when things go wrong in my life to end up blaming people.”
Before going home, he was feeling lost.
“I was lost and unhappy," he says.
“It had nothing to do with anyone else but me,” he adds.
“When someone says they love you but you don’t see it, it becomes an issue with you, not them. When they show concern, it’s like they are on my neck. That is what I was feeling. I wanted to spend time alone, but I was always tired or sleeping. Nothing has triggered me. But I was always so sad. There was nothing really wrong at the moment, but I wanted to change that and work on my depression."
Phelo says there is not enough awareness made around depression in South Africa and by sharing his story, he hopes to give someone hope.
“I feel sorry for people going through that alone because many don’t understand depression. There is not enough light on it. Our parents still don’t get it,” he says.
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There has been much speculation about his breakup with actor, tv, and radio presenter Moshe. Phelo does not beat around the bush but confirms that they have separated.
“We are separated,” he says.
“I needed to start over. When you start over, you do it completely. I needed to ask myself what it is that I wanted. It was never a one-night decision,” he says.
“My breakup was what I was starting over from. Even before the separation, there was a shift in my life. I was going to come home anyway and sort out some things related to my calling as a sangoma. But the separation then became the perfect opportunity to start clean.”
Phelo says things with Moshe just did not work out, but he will not point fingers or bad mouth him.
“Things were not just working out at the time. I needed to be honest with myself. In many relationships, you can get lost while being with the person and neglect yourself in the process. I was starting to question who I am and look at the importance of my own mental health. I would hate to point fingers or bad mouth anyone because in situations like these, people take sides and what happens when you get back together after saying all those hurtful things about each other,” he says.
Phelo says his breakup with Moshe gave him a chance to reflect on his life.
“What I have taken out of this is respect, respect the relationship.”
Phelo says being in a big city and trying to figure personal issues out can be daunting and he is now very self-aware.
“Joburg is not home for me. I needed a safe place and unconditional love and care. I didn’t want someone having a red pen and ticking all the things that I wanted."
This year he turned 31 and he is grateful.
“A lot has happened since my birthday. But this year has been a year of acceptance. I have had to come to terms with who I am and what I am. I feel like I am a lot of people on one. For a long time, I just didn’t care and found no value in myself. I have never had time to deal with my issues privately, people laughed, gossiped, and don’t realise I am human with all these things. I have been misunderstood and it has been hard to articulate myself.”
But he plans to express himself at the concert and in his album, due for release next year.
“At the moment I will be working with different artists until my album release next year. I plan to do a more mature Afro-pop sound with deeper lyrics and meaning.”
