You could be in the mall trying to enjoy a meal and see a relative or a friend’s partner being unfaithful to them, what do you do?
Experts say you do nothing.
Podcaster Mac G, whose real name is Macgyver Mukwevho, paid lobola for his long-time partner, Naledi Monamodi. This drew the attention of many critics who questioned on social media how Naledi could agree to marry him knowing he has cheated on her.
Unisa’s Dr Joshua Ndlela, a student counsellor who is also in private practice says people need to mind their own business.
“A relationship is between two people. Even if you are a sibling, you have no right to interfere in your sibling’s relationship. The two people in the relationship have committed to each other, and to no one else.
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“You are a third party. Even if you think they are being hurt. The only time it is permissible for you to enter is if you are invited by one of the parties. We need to respect people’s relationships and you cannot feel entitled to comment.
“Another thing to remember is that the person who comes to report as a whistleblower may get backlash for involving themselves. Two people enter into a relationship, and they have a contract to each other, and the contract has conditions that have been discussed by the two of them. It is not a group project,” he says.
Dr Thabisa Nabusela-Xawuka, a clinical psychologist and a lecturer at Nelson Mandela University, agrees with Dr Ndlela.
“I can imagine that it is a difficult position to find yourself in when you find out this kind of information about a loved one’s partner. But this is not for you to share what you saw. You may think you are helping, but what you will do is to cause a fight between the couple over hearsay and they may react in a way you expect. Rather do not say anything.”
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Dr Nabusela-Xawuka says the kind of relationship you have with the affected party may be the determining factor when deciding if you should say anything or not.
“Perhaps if the people are married and you have a long standing friendship with the partners you may want to let them know of the infidelity because you have a history and you have had difficult conversations.
“Even though this is none of your business, the weight of your friendship may dictate how you move forward. But if you do decide to say anything, you need to be careful because you may be misinterpreted as being jealous, especially if you are not married.”
