They get down on one knee and nervously, hands shaking, visibly sweating, pull a velvet-covered box out of their pocket. It’s a heart-stopping moment. And you want to make sure you memorise every second of it.
It’s the perfect time, perfect location, they’re the perfect person but . . . the ring is just not your style. At all. As a jewellery designer, Kristin Weixelbaumer of Black Betty has seen this happen before.
“Many people come back to redo their rings,” she says. In fact, one of the rings the jewellers had painstakingly custom-made to meet the specific needs of a client ended up having one of the most memorable journeys that a piece of jewellery can have, she recalls. “The ring was rejected.”
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It then ended up on display at the jewellers’ Hyde Park kiosk as Kristin just couldn’t let go of the striking bespoke piece.
Then one day another man walked into the swish Joburg north mall, looking for something unique for his partner – and like the magi were drawn to the star of Bethlehem, he was pulled to this ring and just knew it was the one.
“He instinctually knew,” Kristin shares. “His fiancée even came back to show us the ring, she loved it so much, saying it’s unique and special.”
It’s a nerve-wracking experience for any person walking into a jeweller's looking to have the perfect engagement ring made for their Pearl of Great Price.
“Many of these guys walk in looking nervous, palms sweating,” says Kristin, “but our job is to reassure them and help them figure out what their fiancée will love.”
After going back and forth over the stone, the cut, the colour and design, the customer is finally happy.
Then they’re ready to sweat several buckets more as they prepare to pop the big question.
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While many newly engaged people come back, gushing over their bespoke rings, to thank the jeweller, there are also many who come back with some adjustment requests, Kristin shares. Sometimes, it’s a request for a whole new design because the betrothed simply cannot lie about loving the rock on their finger.
So how do you tell the love of your life one of the most difficult truths you may ever have to break to them?
“Our advice is always to lead with honesty,” says Kristin. “You’re about to commit to your partner for the rest of your life, so forming this foundation of speaking up about your true feelings is important.”
You can’t deny your truth though, she adds. “Your engagement ring is the one thing that you will look at every day. You’ve got to love it and have it be a representation of who you are.
“There’s always nice ways to go about this, to try not hurt your partner’s feelings. We suggest maybe keeping the stones and just changing the design, so all the magic is still there. The gemstones are what hold the true meaning, after all.”
The selection of the ring has a lot to do with instinct and understanding your partner’s taste. Jewellery designer Kristin Weixelbaumer shares her tips for getting it right the first time you pop the big question.
- Surprise proposals may be still popular, but the surprise engagement ring idea may be getting a bit outdated. You can buy a diamond, for instance, and present that to your partner when you propose, then go back to the jeweller's to design the actual ring together.
- You can combine your birth stones and have a ring designed using both of them so that it symbolizes your union. For instance, if you’re born in June and your partner in November, the combination of birth stones would be a pearl or Alexandrite with topaz or citrine.
- Get the right ring to suit your pocket. This requires a bit of research before heading into a jewellery chain store and picking something that’s double your annual salary off the floor. Custom-made jewellery can often be more budget-friendly because you’re working with a designer following all your requirements – from the budget to the type of stone you want.
- Listen out for hints from your partner to get a sense of what their preference might be. A jeweller making a bespoke engagement ring for your partner will also often advise you on the type of questions to ask in order to confirm your suspicions about your partner’s taste – for instance, are they modern, classic or vintage?
- Look to sites such as Pinterest for inspiration and ideas. If you have a sense that your partner isn’t the classic, round-shaped diamond type, for instance, there are so many other interesting shapes you can find to inspire.
