Confessions of a serial dieter - 'I tried every diet that was the rage'

I was 14 years old. We were standing like sheep going to the slaughterhouse as my 49kg high school PT teacher barked orders for a class of chubby adolescent girls to weigh ourselves. 

I stood in dread – my plump thighs shaking. Stepping gingerly on to the scale I saw it move: 72, 73, 73.5, I closed my eyes. “You’re overweight,” she snarled, “You’re at least 20kg heavy. That’s fat.” I nearly died that day. 

It was the late 1980s and the Beverly Hills diet was all the rage. I bought a copy with my hard-earned pocket money. It would become my bible. 

The Beverly Hills Diet

For the first ten days of this six-week programme, I ate fruits (pineapple was recommended as it burnt fat quickly). It was all about how food interacted with the enzymes in other food when it was eaten. 

From day 11 to 18 I could add one slice of bread a day, two tablespoons of butter and three mealies. On day 19 protein was introduced. The weight began to drip off me like butter – soon I saw 69kg. The belt on my school dress began to loosen.

I finished the six-week plan and began all over again - 65kg, 60. Then I dipped into the 50s and began to feel my hip bones. I reached 55 and there was no stopping. The boys began to look at me. I felt great. At 52, 51, 50, I was starving but I longed for the dial to dip into the 40s. At 48 kilos my English teacher called my mom. 

Anorexia was discussed and I was forced to see a therapist at an eating-disorder clinic. I put on a bit of weight to keep them off my back. Once I got to 55 kilos I reached for a new plan. I had become a diet addict. Over the next few decades, I tried every diet that was the rage. These are some of them.

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The Fast Diet 

The diet allows you to eat 600 calories two days a week (which is about two slices of buttered toast!) and then eat whatever you want for five days: hamburgers, chips – any junk. It was totally unsustainable and made me feel guilt ridden and fat. I didn’t last long on it.  

The Atkins diet 

I’ve also tried the Atkins diet (very similar to the latest “banting” craze) a number of times in my life. It promises a loss of up to seven kilograms within two weeks. I’ve lost around five kilos whenever I’ve tried it. This diet restricts most carbs like bread, potatoes, chocolate, cereals and sugar, and allows high-protein foods (meat, poultry, fish and eggs) and high-fat foods (cream, butter, cheese). 

“When fat is used as fuel, as it is on a low carbohydrate diet, it gets mobilised. It does not accumulate, so weight and cholesterol drop,” says Atkins. Alcoholic drinks are strictly prohibited during the beginning stage. Moderate amounts of alcohol are allowed only during the maintenance phase. 

The Cabbage soup diet  

All you eat for a whole week is cabbage soup. It sounds horrid but it works fast. It’s extremely low in calories and high in fibre. The claim is that you can lose as much as five kilos in a week – and no exercise is required. After seven days, you slowly add food: 

1. The first day you can eat any fruits, except bananas. 

2. The second day you are allowed to eat raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. 

3. The third day you can eat all the fruits and vegetables you want, with the exclusion of bananas and potatoes. 

4. The fourth day you can eat as many as eight bananas. 

5. The fifth day you can add beef and tomatoes to the soup. 

6. The sixth day you are allowed to include beef and vegetables, but no potatoes. 

7. On the final day you can eat your cabbage soup with rice, fruit juices and vegetables.

The Scarsdale diet 

What would a serial dieter be without trying the Scarsdale at least once? It’s based on eating lean protein and low-carbohydrate foods such as fresh fruits, vegetables, salads and lean meat. Breakfast generally consists of coffee, tea, half a grapefruit and a slice of wholewheat bread. 

After two weeks, you switch to the “Keep Trim” phase for the next two weeks. A slightly higher calorie intake is permitted, and a few additional foods are allowed. But oil, mayonnaise and alcohol are absolutely forbidden. 

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The flat belly diet

Everyone wants a flat belly, so I leapt at this diet with glee. It promises to help you lose about six kilos in 32 days and lose belly fat permanently. It’s probably my favourite diet.

There’s a four-day jumpstart, when you eat food rich in healthy fats like nuts and avo. Then you go onto a four-week eating plan that restricts you to 1 200 calories a day. Salt, processed foods, high-carb foods and gas producing foods such as cabbage, onions and legumes, are forbidden. 

There’s no coffee, tea, sugar, alcohol or fizzy drinks. You are encouraged to drink two litres of water. The following four weeks you consume 400-calorie meal every four hours, with the key ingredients being fish, veggies, fruits, whole grains and olive oil.

What I’ve discovered after all these years of dieting, yo-yoing up and down, is that the only way to accept the shape and weight I am is to eat healthily, exercise regularly and accept and love myself. It’s an ongoing journey. 

What to do before going on a diet

It’s imperative to see your doctor for a general checkup and to see whether you have a propensity for life threatening conditions like diabetes or an underlying heart condition. One diet doesn’t fit all – you need to go on one appropriate to your needs and health condition. Be especially careful with fad diets. Drinking water is a must during any diet and getting enough sleep is one of the kindest things you can do to your body.