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‘How can I recover my lobola money?’

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An Eastern Cape wedding party.
An Eastern Cape wedding party.
Paul Popper/Popperfoto/Getty Images

Dear Aus Nthabi,

I was recently engaged and I paid lobola of R45 000. 

I ended my engagement after I found out that my fiancée was having an affair.

She is now pregnant with another man’s child.

I want my lobola money back. – Hurt 

Read more | ‘Can a mentally ill person be an heir?’ – Aus Nthabi answers your legal questions 

Aus Nthabi responds

Customary law does not say what should happen to lobola. 

However, in terms of custom, a man is entitled to receive his lobola money back if the engagement was cancelled as a result of the conduct of the woman. 

As your ex-fiancée is now pregnant with another man’s child, you have the right to approach her family and demand your money that you paid for lobola. 

If the family is refusing to refund you, you have the right to sue for the return of the lobola money. 

Nthabiseng Monareng

Nthabiseng Monareng holds LLB and LLM degrees from the University of Witwatersrand, Johannesburg. Nthabi has more than 10 years’ experience in the legal field, specialising in family law. She’s written books on family law and is a family mediator.

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