It used to be something you didn’t even have to worry about.
You and your partner’s sex life could rival even the steamiest of the Facebook diaries.
But now it’s dwindled to once a month, if at all.
- APPETITE FOR SEX
But that doesn’t mean your partner isn’t interested. You might just need to spend a little bit more time getting in the mood.
Dr Jireh Serfontein of My Sexual Health, a sexual health clinic, says there is no need to panic if you don’t have an appetite for sex anymore.
Or if the frequency of sexual desire has decreased as a low libido can be managed.
“It is important to understand that it is perfectly normal to lose interest in sex from time to time. It’s also normal for you and your partner’s libido to be out of sync sometimes,” Dr Jireh says.
This could be caused by hormonal levels, stress, certain medications and chronic illness.
- SET THE ATMOSPHERE
Dr Elmari Mulder Craig, a sexologist from Menlo Park, Pretoria, suggests that you set the mood for sex.
Set the atmosphere so that it reflects romance. The bedroom has to feel sensual and inviting.
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“If you want your partner to feel a certain mood, the right music can help set it for you. Filling the room with scented candles can add considerable charm to a romantic night,” says Dr Elmari.
“If you find that your partner is not completely comfortable, a good bottle of wine or a cocktail might help them relax.”
Pay attention to what you wear for your session, she says. Wear something that makes you feel confident and sexy.
- SPICING THINGS UP
Dr Elmari says being playful has the same pros for adults as playing has for kids – it gives you stimulation that keeps your brain hotwired.
It can also improve relationships and your connection to others.
Find the connection again with the following tips:
Be naughty – It’s okay to “break the rules” sometimes.
Shower or bath time is one of your day’s most regular routines, so what better opportunity to shake things up than by inviting your partner for a steamy session in the bathroom.
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Lay down the boundaries and set rules for “the game”.
No touching with hands (only a soapy sponge), you have to be blind-folded while you experience a rubdown, and no talking. You could even throw in some bath “toys”.
Look for inspiration – Being creative can be challenging when you’re fresh out of ideas.
If you want to start things off slow, look to your past for things that worked. Entice your partner with a list of your biggest turn-ons by sending him a text a few hours before you see each other, listing them and challenging him to work his way through your fantasies.
This will have him in the mood for sex by the time he gets home in the evening.
Be more spontaneous – Couple sex takes some effort so starting with some self-love may help you become comfortable once you do the deed with your partner.
Give yourself permission to give in to your own desire to masturbate and be sensual in solo sex next time you’re feeling turned on.
This is a good way to practice spontaneity and may help you take similar steps with your partner.
