Think you know everything there is to know about sex and intimacy?
Well, think again. We set the record straight on sex myths – take note!
- THE MYTH: If you don’t have an orgasm, something’s wrong with you.
THE TRUTH: Blame it on women’s magazines, but it seems these days sex is all about a mind-blowing orgasm.
So naturally, you’re inclined to ask: If I don’t have an orgasm, does that mean I’m not having good sex? Or worse: Am I doing something wrong?
Here’s something to put your mind at ease: According to research, only 30 % of women reach orgasms during intercourse. The other 70 % rely on foreplay and additional stimulation, and sometimes even this doesn’t work.
So what does this mean? Firstly, you’re perfectly normal if you don’t get that toe-curling orgasm everyone is talking about, and secondly, sex isn’t all about having an orgasm, it’s also about the journey.
So even if the “Big O” doesn’t happen quite the way you want it to, don’t let it put a damper on your sex life. Talk to your partner and see how you can work on different ways to make it happen. The bonus will be more attention for you.
- THE MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you are having your period, he pulls out before he ejaculates or he wears a condom.
THE TRUTH: It’s unlikely for a woman to get pregnant while she’s having her period but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
“Some women, especially those with infrequent periods due to stress or other factors, can have spotting without a menstrual period – even during ovulation, when they’re most likely to get pregnant,” according to American obstetrics specialist and medical director Doctor Daniel S. Stein.
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As for condoms, accidents happen, so they aren’t foolproof. How about pulling out before he ejaculates? Sperm is also present in seminal fluid, which is released even before ejaculation.
- THE MYTH: Men can’t fake orgasms.
THE TRUTH: Like women, men can put on a show too. It might be harder for them to fake it, but it’s not impossible.
In fact, only 47 % of men achieve orgasm during vaginal penetration. Like women, they might also depend on other methods to reach an orgasm.
- THE MYTH: Men want to have sex more often than women.
THE TRUTH: A man’s sex drive is higher as it’s fuelled by testosterone. But does that make him want to jump you 24/7?
No, according to British sex and relationship counsellor Denise Knowles. “Men are increasingly reporting lower sex drives and much of it could be lifestyle-related. Sexual interest isn’t just about hormones.”
Ageing, obesity, smoking, alcohol and taking drugs will also lower a man’s sex drive. Remember: Women can enjoy sex just as much as men, so they can be just as motivated by it.
- THE MYTH: Sex can hurt the baby if you’re pregnant.
THE TRUTH: Most women continue having a healthy sex life throughout pregnancy.
It might mean a little bit of adjustment or improvising in terms of positions, but a baby doesn’t mean the end of intimacy.
The only exception is if you have placenta previa – a condition where the placenta is lying right over the cervix and having sex could cause bleeding or premature labour – or if you’ve had bleeding or contractions after intercourse.
- THE MYTH: Sex is better if he lasts longer.
THE TRUTH: Somehow, we’ve been drilled to believe that if a man can’t go on almost endlessly, then he’s unmanly and his lover will end up unsatisfied. Let’s not deny it; this is true to some extent, especially if the woman is just getting geared up.
But most surveys find that the average session of sexual intercourse lasts from three to 10 minutes. Anything beyond is a bonus.
It’s more important to focus on the quality of the love-making. Enjoy everything that comes with sex – the flirting, foreplay and even the intimacy after a session.
- THE MYTH: Condoms are 100% safe.
THE TRUTH: Nothing is 100% safe except, of course, abstinence. Condoms will greatly minimise the probability of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) compared to not using one at all, but they aren’t foolproof.
They must be in good condition, of good quality and used properly. Even then, you can still spread or catch diseases that don’t depend on genital contact, like herpes or warts.
Read more | A safe word, deeper, harder, gentler, faster, slower and stop
So unless you’re in an exclusive relationship where both parties have been tested for STDs, always use protection.
- THE MYTH: Size matters.
THE TRUTH: To put it bluntly, there’s no point having the tools if you don’t know how to use them properly. It’s a stereotype that a big penis equals masculinity.
If you’re worried that he’s slightly smaller than what you imagined, here’s a quick lesson in human anatomy: You’re most sensitive on the lower third of your vagina, your clitoris is on the outside of your vagina while the elusive G spot is only a couple of centimetres inside. So, you just need a lover who knows what he’s doing.
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