SHE was often tormented by voices telling her to kill herself.
This was Zoey Mkabela, founder and CEO of Volumicious products and hair clinic, opening up to Daily Sun about her past struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts.
It comes as World Suicide Prevention Day approaches, commemorated on 10 September.
Zoey got married to her sweetheart pastor in 2011. She said after being raised in a big house with heated flooring and the view of a dam, it became difficult to settle in an informal settlement, where she was living with her husband.
A decent meal had become a luxury and as the pastor’s wife, she was expected to be strong.
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“I was the only one working and we survived on my salary as my then husband didn’t believe in getting a job, but rather running a business. I would sometimes borrow money from friends because I was struggling to get to month-end. We downgraded from my apartment to an RDP house within the church premises, and next to it was a tavern,” she said.
At the time, Zoey had one child with her husband.
“The financial burden, different values and beliefs as well as lack of support from my family because of my choices and the congregations’ judgements and expectations took a toll on me. As a pastor’s wife, I was expected to behave and talk a certain way,” she shared.
She was employed as a sales representative, and so would travel often.
“I would hear voices telling me to crash into a truck, and that I would never amount to anything. As a Christian, whenever those voices come, I’d remember the word of God,” said Zoey, who then welcomed her second child.
“The birth of my son pushed me to look for a bigger space. I renovated an unused church wall into a home. But again, life was still hard.”
Zoey’s turning point was when she was hospitalised for depression and hair loss due to stress-related illnesses.
Eventually, she left her marriage in 2019 and pursued her business venture.
“I never looked back. I became selfish and thought about my well-being. I didn’t care about judgement from church members because I was the one feeling pain. A divorced daughter is better than a dead one,” she added.
“The devil tried hard to abort the woman I have become. To those faced with suicidal thoughts, these are demonic forces and if you listen to those voices, you might give in. Even when you have hit rock bottom, hold on to your faith,” she said.
Suicide has become increasingly common, even more so during the hardest Covid-19 lockdown restrictions.
During the 2019/2020 financial year, the South African Police Service recorded a 90% increase on cases of suicide in Gauteng, from 695 to 1 325.
According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, there are 23 known cases of suicide a day in the country and for every person that commits suicide, 10 have attempted it.
In promoting public commitment and action to prevent suicide, a leading pharmaceutical company and advocate for mental health has shared advice on how to support a loved one after a suicide attempt.
Abdurahmaan Kenny, mental health portfolio manager for Pharma Dynamics, said it was crucial knowing how to deal with and support someone who had attempted to take their own lives for their recovery.
“Your loved one may be depressed or suffering from another mental illness caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Therefore, it’s essential for them to see a trained healthcare professional who will be able to make a proper diagnosis and prescribe the right treatment. This often involves a combination of medication and psychotherapy. Recovery with the right help is possible,” he said.
He said that as challenging as recovering from a suicide attempt could be, with time and support for your loved one and yourself, it could be overcome.
Abdurahmaan shared the following advice on what to say to a loved one during this period:
. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so awful. I’m so glad you’re still here.
. I’m here for you. Remember that you can always talk to me if you need to.
. I want to help you. Tell me what I can do to support you.
The following are the don’ts, according to Suicide Line:
. Panicking:
. Name-calling
. Criticising
. Preaching or lecturing
. Abandoning and pushing the person
. Dramatising
. Showing anger
Pharma Dynamics has toll-free helpline 0800 205 026, which is manned by trained counsellors who are on call from 8am to 8pm, seven days a week.
