You meet someone and suddenly, butterflies are doing the vosho in your tummy.
It's rare, but it happens.
But do you ever wonder why you’re more attracted to certain things or people than others? And what really sparks that attraction? Well, that’s where the science of attraction takes part.
Whether platonic or intimate attraction, clinical psychologist and African spiritual healer Anele Siswana tells us that the science of attraction is a complex field that encompasses various factors, including biology, psychology, and sociology.
Sometimes, there's a spark between people which is mainly referred to as chemistry, an immediate attraction to someone.
“Attraction is a very interesting construct and for the most part it’s an unconscious process. Generally, attraction between people can be sparked by a combination of factors, including physical, emotional, and psychological elements. For the most part, amongst people in the context of romantic relationships physical attraction is an obvious appeal because of what resonates with that individual,” he says.
At times people are drawn in by an individual’s outer appearance, scent or even their energy towards them. Although attraction can grow over time, there are many factors to consider of attraction such as proximity, personality traits, similarities, emotional connection and more.
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According to Anele, there is more than one way to tell if you’re smitten.
Your heart rapidly beating against your chest, cheeks turning red, elevated mood when you see that person, nervousness, etc., are often a natural response to the excitement and anticipation that come with developing romantic or emotional interest in someone.
He says, "The physical translates to looks, physique (certain bodies appeal and desirable). For those attracted to emotional and psychological elements it’s often individuals that have a better understanding of the emotional world. Ideally, individuals who have a greater sense of self awareness and look for that element in others. This level of attraction requires time and physical intimacy with the one you’re interested in. In addition, some common factors that contribute to attraction include physical appearance, shared interests, personality traits, sense of humor, and emotional connection. It can be a complex and multifaceted process that varies from person to person.”
We’ve all heard the expression ‘the heart wants what it wants’ but the concept of falling in love is all to do with the brain and not our hearts, sending the rest of the body into a tailspin.
However, Anele says what one finds attractive may not be the same for someone else due to their unique preferences and experiences.
“People are attracted to certain things and people based on a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. These include physical appearance, shared interests, personality traits, cultural background, and personal experiences. Attraction is complex and can vary greatly from person to person,” he says.
Six key factors of the science of attraction, according to Anele Siswana.
1. Physical attractiveness
Evolutionary biology plays a role in this, as certain physical features may be associated with health and reproductive fitness.
2. Similarity
People are often attracted to others who share common interests, values, and backgrounds, as this fosters a sense of connection.
3. Proximity
The mere exposure effect suggests that people tend to be attracted to those they are frequently in contact with.
4. Personality traits
Certain personality characteristics, such as confidence, humor, and kindness, can be highly attractive to others.
5. Emotional connection
Emotional bonding, trust, and feeling understood are important in building attraction.
6. Social and cultural influences
Cultural norms and societal expectations can impact who we are attracted to and how we express that attraction.
