Robbery, rape, murder - they’re not what we bargain for when we answer an ad for a job, agree to drinks with an online ‘friend’ or seek spiritual guidance from a pastor. But they’re what too many women get.
Scammers who profess to be people of God and use the guise of religion to prey on women use charisma and can be verbally entrancing, making you feel like you are at the centre of the universe and they have no conscience or sense of guilt.
There have been a number of incidents of pastors in conventional or pentecostal churches, traditional healers, swamis and others using the authority and trust that goes with their position to manipulate young women into having sex – or joining what turn out to be cults motivated by profit, sexual appetite or power.
“They target vulnerable victims, which makes it easier to manipulate them,” says Labuschagne. “A master manipulator targets the weakest possible victim.”
This is now so widespread that in March 2018, a march was held at the offices of the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of the Rights of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CRL) in Braamfontein to protest against false pastors and prophets.
Among the marchers was Tinyiko Masemola, who told the press she had been unable to find work. A visiting pastor convinced her the reason was that the pastor of her current church was making her “spiritually bound” and that her husband was bad luck.
The visiting pastor ended up moving into the home Masemola shared with her parents, starting a church and praying for people in the garage. “I sort of became the wife while I was not the wife,” she told TimesLive.
It was only when she still failed to land a job in spite of all this, that she ended her relationship with him. But this was a minor scam compared to the one of which 59-year-old Nigerian pastor Timothy Omotoso is accused.
He is accused of multiple charges of contravening the Sexual Offences Act, in connection with the alleged rape and trafficking of more than 30 women and girls, some as young as 13. A female accomplice is accused of helping recruit girls from around the country to live at his home in Umhlanga.
Equally disturbing, also in March, after five police officers and a soldier were killed in a shoot-out with members of the Mancoba Seven Angels Ministry at a police station in Ngcobo in the Eastern Cape, social workers and police removed what police commissioner General Khehla Sithole described as “not less than 100” girls and young women aged from 12 to 21 from the ministry.
They were allegedly kept as part of a cult headed by the seven church leaders, who saw themselves as angels sent by God, and were allegedly indoctrinated, brainwashed and possibly used as sex slaves.
READ MORE | GBV continues to plague our society - 'I existed purely for a stranger’s sexual pleasure'
CRL chairperson Thoko Mkhwanazi-Xaluva labelled the situation in South Africa regarding churches being turned into cults “a state of emergency”. At a discussion to address such concerns, Professor Maria Frahm-Arp from the Department of Religious Studies at the University of Johannesburg said people caught up in cults and sects were not stupid but “strategic”.
Youth unemployment stood at 52 percent at the end of 2017 and there was widespread economic hardship, she said.
“People become willing to do extraordinary things for prosperity. They end up doing sexually provocative things, very often with the pastor, drinking petrol to expel evil, eating grass and snakes to be blessed. Young people, especially women, get to a stage of giving up everything they have, wanting to gain more.”
How to stay safe
The best way to avoid any scam, whether it promises a job, a bargain buy or salvation in exchange for sex, is to be aware of the warning signs. And if you awake to these too late, to immediately report your experience, so you can get help and support, and stop other women being similarly scammed.
Signs of a cult
Red flags include any of these, says Frahm-Arp:
- The religious group or individual is opposed to critical thinking.
- They try to isolate you or other members and threaten to penalise you for leaving.
- They emphasise a special doctrine.
- They seek inappropriate loyalty (such as you cutting yourself off from family and friends).
- They dishonour family units.
Take action:
Get out quietly but quickly and get help. You can contact the CRL at 011 358 9100 or download a complaint form at www.crlcommission.org.za.
If you were abused, call POWA (People Opposing Woman Abuse) 011 642 4345, LifeLine 0861 322 322, Famsa 031 202 8987 or 021 447 7951, the Family Life Centre 011 788-4784 or the SA Depression and Anxiety Group 0800 21 22 23, SMS 31319.
Signs of a sexual or domestic violence predator
Recognising “pre-incident indicators” can help you avoid a dangerous person, says international violence and security expert Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence.
Be on your guard if:
- Someone implies he has something in common with you, or you have a shared problem, and speaks as “we”, (this is “forced teaming”, says De Becker).
- He uses friendliness, flattery and politeness to disarm, charm and manipulate you.
- He overdoes the details – an indication of lying and trying to sound more credible.
- He insists on secrecy and wants to have online or phone conversations in private.
- He asks for personal information early – your full name, birthday, address, where you’re studying for working.
- He knows things about you that you haven’t told him (he may have been stalking you online).
- He asks lots of questions, to draw you in.
- He always agrees with you, to get your trust.
- He tries to make you feel vulnerable, asking things like “What’s wrong?” or “Tell me why you’re sad/ angry?” telling you he understands and you can turn to him for anything.
- He puts himself down to encourage you to contradict him: “You think you’re too good to talk to someone like me”.
- He tries to turn you against others, telling you they don’t understand or appreciate you as he does.
- He ignores any attempt at rejection.
Take action:
“A lot of these signs are seen in the normal relationship-building process,” says Labuschagne.
The key is to be alert and listen to your gut. If you’re uncomfortable, politely and firmly say no to what he suggests, and keep saying it. And get away. Ignore his calls or messages. If need be, report him to the SAPS, and get support from an organisation like POWA (see above).
This article is a portion of a special report from the July 2018 TRUELOVE issue
