- While more men are expected to be treated for Valentine’s Day, financial factors play a role.
- More couples are exploring bonding experiences that keep them connected.
- Opinions differ but more men hope for practical gifts and thoughtful gestures.
It’s a day for spoils, romantic memories and gifts galore.
Valentine’s Day has historically been an occasion where the onus is put on men to capture their loved one’s heart and sweep them off their feet with thoughtful surprises.
But navigating love in modern times can have its challenges, especially in the world of situationships and casual relationships.
For those sticking it out for the long haul with their partner, it can still be difficult to figure out how to treat your partner, whether you celebrate the day of love or not.
What’s even trickier for some ladies is figuring out how to spoil their partners because, in today’s modern world, the tables are turning and men are expecting to be made to feel special too.
21st century loving
TRUELOVE got some insight from certified relationship therapy educator and facilitator Paula Quinsee who shares her take on the growing trend of men wanting to be spoiled on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
“Various statistics and research show that men are expecting to be treated on Valentines’ Day however when it comes to actual spending habits, men are still spending higher amounts than women. Societal norms and expectations are evolving as couples share more equality in their relationships and the world at large.
“Financial affordability plays a large role in spending habits particularly among the younger generation where women have become more financially independent and want to reciprocate. However, in general, men are still feeling the pressure on having to get it right with their partner. Spending trends show that men spend more than women on Valentine’s Day and chocolates, cards, flowers and a meal out,” she explains.
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While most men downplay their soft side and subscribe to the long-standing traditions of doing the treating, Paula notes that, in her experience, men still hope to have their deeper emotional needs met through quality time together.
But there are many debates around the subject of how far you should go with spoiling your man with a Valentine’s Day gift.
What women say
Zamaswazi, a fitness trainer, lightheartedly shares that she believes that she is the prize.
“I don’t get men anything,” she laughs. “Where is it written? We don’t get men anything. I put a ribbon on my forehead and I’m the gift. Sweety, it doesn’t get any better than that, I’m the gift!
“I put some chocolate on my body, how about that [for] king treatment. Melt some chocolate, put it all on my body, put a ribbon, happy Valentine’s, king.”
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- Personal grooming products, clothing and vouchers
- Experiences like ziplining
- Practical gifts based on their interests like sporting items like golf clubs or cycling gear, cooking items like Weber and tools.
Trends show that the longer a couple is together the less they feel the need to prove their love through gifts and see Valentine’s Day more as a commercial event rather than every day ways of showing their love, affection and commitment to each other.
What men want
What someone might expect from their partner differs from person to person but Paula explains how more couples are starting to explore different experiences like scenic walks, picnics or home cooking that help them connect more with one another.
“Some men have shared, ‘Before you do something for me, rather do something with me’, however, they all say they do appreciate affirmation, whether it’s shared via a note, text, written card or verbally,” Paula says.
Wandi, 30, explains what his ideal Valentine’s treatment would be.
“This is a tough one but I would love a thoughtful experience, maybe something arts and crafty like a pottery class date followed by a hearty home meal. I think an expression of thoughtfulness, for the things I enjoy or have an unexplored interest in would make it a day [where] I really feel like someone’s Valentine.”
Thando, 30, shares the same sentiment as Wandi. He looks at practical gifting and thoughtful gestures as the best way a woman could show him how much she cares.
“I think for me, I don’t know, something cute and intimate. An at-home picnic would be nice. So, yeah, either we order or cook three course meals, sit candlelight. Even on the floor, move the furniture around and set up something really really cute. Gift-wise, men are easy. Gift things like cologne, a nice work shirt.
“Yeah, nothing crazy. I think those things, especially because we’re practical like for me, personally, I’m a practical guy so anything that you get me that is practical goes a long way. Even like something I can use at the gym because I do gym quite a bit, goes a long way. So, ja, and every time then I use that thing, I think of you and that’s immeasurably more affectionate and means a lot more to me.”
