The year was 2018 and her life changed forever.
Reality TV star and fitness enthusiast Sbahle Mpisane opens up about the car accident that nearly claimed her life.
Here's her story.
Being in hospital
“Waking up in a hospital was confusing, not only for me but for my family, too. I didn’t necessarily wake up crying due to my injuries because I didn’t fathom their extent at the time.
I was suffering from memory loss after being in a coma for a month. The weird thing is, after learning that I had been admitted following a car accident, I automatically assumed that I had fallen down the stairs at school.
In my mind, I was back in high school. I remember asking my family to tell the principal that I was injured, and so wouldn’t be at school for some time. I don’t know why I did that because it never happened, and yet that memory was vivid.
My family members had to reintroduce themselves, and even tell me what ‘mama’ meant. Luckily, I still remembered my name. To be honest, I don’t recall how I felt during those first few weeks, and I hadn’t grasped just how bad my accident was.
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I didn’t have access to the outside world or my phones, so everything I saw or heard came from my family and friends. During those four months, three of my friends were cleared to visit. They also had to reintroduce themselves, show pictures of us in happier times and share memories with me.
I started regaining my memory while still in hospital, but it was mostly random things or if someone shared something in full detail. I wasn’t frustrated – I would remember something, but not be hard on myself if I didn’t.
Then, my friends shared how amazing their December holidays were, and I knew that I also wanted in on the fun. Although I was meant to be admitted for longer, I managed to convince my doctors to discharge me at the beginning of December.
Finally home!
On 1 December 2018, the day I got discharged, I asked my family to bring my make-up and pick beautiful clothes for me. I knew that I wanted to look beautiful, and felt proud to be able to do my own make-up.
I was happy to be home and see my dog again. The first thing I wanted to do was get inside a car. No one understood that because they assumed I would be traumatised by the experience. I really wasn’t.
During that week, I asked my parents to bring my other car into the city because I wanted to drive, even though I couldn’t. I remained indoors for a week, but after that, I regularly had breakfast and lunch dates with my friends.
I wanted to experience December instead of being cooped up at home. I was excited to dress up, go out and socialise with people. My friends slowly introduced me to everyone else, also sharing who I used to be close to.
In hindsight, being out and about put me under a lot of pressure because I wanted to look like everyone else.
I knew that I was injured, but I didn’t want that to hold me back. I kept learning and was excited to be alive and experiencing life again. I believe that pushing myself helped with my recovery.
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The low moments
Through all of this, the hardest part was that my recovery took longer than I had anticipated. I was supposed to have been fully healed in six months, but later learnt that it could take another year.
It ended up taking two. Even though that was depressing, in January 2019, I decided to put metal rods in my leg to accelerate the process.
The everyday realisation that I was injured made me feel like I was never going to recuperate. I really thank God that I’m alive. I still went through a phase of being sad, thinking that it would have been better if I were dead.
But in bed alone, I was scared, and would cry myself to sleep. Only then would I have a moment to myself and assess my situation. I would look at everyone on Instagram and realise that I would never be normal again.
Being here, today, is a reminder that I need to learn how to be patient with myself. Yes, things are challenging at the moment, but one day, it will all be a distant memory.
For instance, my metal screws and rods forced me not to overthink or stress about certain things — I had to tell myself to do what I can, and that if I couldn’t do a certain exercise, then I should just find a similar one.
I had to tell myself not to cry and fall apart but embrace the change instead. I learnt that my fears and frustrations came from wanting something familiar.
I used to look at my pictures on Instagram, and reminisce over the old me and some of the things I used to get up to. Because I obviously can’t do the same things anymore, I had to embrace change.
I had to accept the Sbahle I am today, and shift my thoughts and know that everything would be okay.
Back in the public eye
I used to love Instagram so much that I would post daily. Getting back online was mostly to satisfy my curiosity; to see all the beautiful things I used to see through my friend’s phone.
When I started posting again, even though my vocabulary wasn’t fully recovered because of my fuzzy memory, seeing the love I received made me do that even more.
With time, my captions improved. It was never my intention to inform people about my journey; I just genuinely loved posting pictures. Yet, sharing my journey became more therapeutic because I was reminded of all the things I could do and had achieved over time.
I had to learn to cook again. It was more about inspiring the next person and anyone going through a tough time or at the verge of giving up. However, the downside was that some people wrote negative and mean comments – like how fat I was or that I no longer looked beautiful.
I would just delete such comments and block those people.
The lesson
My injuries were quite extensive; 80% of my bones were broken. To this day, doctors call me a miracle because they still can’t believe that I survived.
They also told me how much my mom fought for me to be here today. My face may not look like it did before, but I now have a clear vision and I’m still beautiful. My arms were badly broken, but I can now lift things. My memory and effects reversed after eight months.
Not many people get a second chance at life. I did, and it’s a blessing to be here. I never went to church or prayed before my accident, but I now realise that God was with me on that day, and He chose for me to live.
By 2020, my wish was to be able to do everything by myself again. I wanted to start working and be financially stable. I’m all about being positive and finding the joy in everything.”
This article first appeared in the 2020 June of TRUELOVE
