Fans comfort grieving Nadia Nakai - 'Take it one day at a time'

The loss of a loved one affects people differently.

Rapper Nadia Nakai has been in the news while openly sharing her grief about her late partner Kiernan "AKA" Forbes, who passed away in February 2023. 

The Young, Famous and African reality TV star has been open about how much she misses AKA, who was shot outside a restaurant on Florida Road in Durban. 

Taking to Twitter this time, Nadia Nakai shared in a series of tweets that she doesn't fear death anymore “because I know I might see him” and that she cannot listen to his songs because of “his voice”. 

In attempts to offer comfort, her followers told her to take it “one day at a time”. The grieving rapper responds saying, “One day at a time is so long… forever is a long time.”

In a previous tweet, in April 2023, she said, “Even in my pain I see God so much. God knows my anger, but even in that I know he’s got me and always has. I see it! I’ve never been more spiritually awake as I am now! I’m leaning in fully! How can I not. I lost the closest person to me and he is there, no way I can turn my back."

George A. Bonanno, a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University, tells The Washington Post that the large majority of people exposed to loss “show a trajectory of resilience," meaning they will experience sadness and pain but over time will be able to love, work and experience joy once again.

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According to Forbes Health, it’s important to recognise these categories of grief depending on the individual. Dr Holly Schiff tells the publication, “You can go back and forth between the stages and sometimes even feel like you are in multiple stages at once as you cycle through a variety of emotions."

The five stages of grief

Stage 1: Denial

Denial is a form of shock that slows down our reaction to a loss, according to Dr Robin Hornstein. 

“Once that initial denial and shock start to fade, you can start to heal and the feelings you were suppressing start to come to the surface,” says Dr Schiff tells Forbes Health.

Stage 2: Anger

Anger infuses us with fiery energy, says Dr Hornstein. Despite knowing that life includes death and other losses, anger moves us into a space of power, even if it’s short-lived, she tells the publication.

If we don’t process anger when it arises, it can be hard to let go of. That’s why truly feeling that emotion is necessary, adds Dr Schiff.

Stage 3: Bargaining

According to Forbes Health, in the bargaining stage, individuals may be so desperate to get their lives back, that they grasp at straws and try to avoid grief through negotiation.

Stage 4: Depression

This stage can be particularly challenging, says Dr Holland-Kornegay. At this point, you’ve come to terms with what to expect for your future after loss and realise your life will be different.

Stage 5: Acceptance

While you still might experience feelings of grief over your loss, during acceptance, you are able to acknowledge it, Dr Schiff says. That means learning to live with the loss and readjusting your life accordingly. During this stage, your emotions will begin to stabilise, she tells Forbes Health.