Going through a break up is never easy, but trying to heal and get over a toxic relationship can be even harder.

If you have been in a toxic relationship or know somebody who has, try have patience on yourself and on them if getting over that relationship and the person is extremely hard.

According to Cosmopolian, there are six signs why you can’t get over your past.


1. The highs of the relationship feel incredible enough to outshine the lows

Have you ever heard the saying, “Real high HIGHS and Real low LOWS”? Some relationships start out amazing and then the abuse comes. Sometimes a relationship can have extreme ups and downs so when the downs happen, it’s very hard to believe that the relationship is all bad because “it’s not”.

When there are so many wonderful moments in a relationship it can be very difficult to believe that the person you’re in a relationship with can be so loving and also so horrible at the same time.

2. Breaking up is a constant threat, and when it does happen, it’s usually very sudden

“A common theme in toxic relationships is the abusive partner saying they’ll just break up with you every time there’s a minor or fixable issue, which can make you feel unsteady being with them. But then the actual breakup can often be explosive and out-of-nowhere, which can throw you through an even bigger mental loop.”

When a relationship ends abruptly, moving on can be very difficult because of the many unanswered questions during and after the on and off break ups and make ups.

3. Your ex is a pro at making you feel like *you* ruined the relationship

Because the emotions in a toxic relationship are so up and down, you might have moments where you think things could work out or that you’re the reason for the breakup. Some ex’s can manipulate you into thinking that.


4. You maybe lost some close friends while in the relationship

Being in a toxic relationship can make you possible lose your friends. What gives a toxic partner power is isolating you from your friends, so they can’t bring up red flags they might spot.

Reconnecting with your friends can be a huge help in healing yourself and having good friends who will lend an open ear, care for you and be there for you. If you disappeared on your friends, they will want an explanation for what happen, but don’t let that stop you to reconnect.

5. Your self-esteem has taken one hell of a hit

Dating a person who consistently treats you poorly can make you think you deserve it and crush your feelings of self worth in the process. After the breakup it will take a while to rebuild and reconnect with everything you used to love and what made you feel good and confident. Be patient.

6. Your brain is still figuring out how to trust again

Dating someone who was the best and worst person at the same time can ruin your sense of trust, and make you feel like you can’t trust yourself because you might feel like your instincts and gut feeling are way off.

Venture into something new like a hobby that will get you out of your comfort zone. This will help you re-establish trust again.