In a couple of hours from now, President Cyril Ramaphosa will be delivering the State of the Nation Address. In his speech, he will be tabling government's action-plan for the country in 2020. In the spirit of Sona, we have also embarked on our own State of the Bedroom Address (Soba) to underline concrete action-plans you and your partner can implement in 2020 for the bedroom of Parliament.
1. It's time for ACTION (Ministry in Sports)
Service delivery in the bedroom is key comrades in 2020. The days of whispering sweet nothings to your partner's ears is totally out of order, Honorable Members. With a high rate of concupiscence in the country, we can never rest until all our stakeholders are fully satisfied. As the former president of India Pratibha Patil once said: "Agencies involved in the delivery of services should have a strong sense of duty and work in a transparent, corruption-free, timebound and accountable manner."
2. Honesty is the best policy (Ministry in Justice and Constitutional Development)
Honorable Members in 2020 let us speak about our sexual desires, preferences and insecurities freely without fear or favour. Statistics show that a lot of couples are resorting to outsourcing for a better bedroom experience because we are not honest with each other. The departments of Health and Social Development are also available should we want to further consult or look at how we can ensure that we deliver a top-class service to our partners, comrades.
3. You're never too old to learn new tricks (Ministry in Education)
Honorable Members, the late songstress Aaliyah once sang: "Age ain't nothing but number." Her underlined message was that we need not put limitations to our sexual goals and aspirations. Should we need to invest in stripper pools for the bedroom to better enhance our sexual experience, then let the sensual dancing begin. Many couples are scared of looking into how they can make their bedroom experience more fun and exciting, so in 2020, comrades, let us invest in seeking ways to make Parliament the place to be. As global speaker Eric Thomas once said: "Knowledge is the new money, get you some."
4. Keep the lights on (Ministry in Mineral Resources & Energy)
Comrades, we are all aware the challenges faced by Eskom currently. As a result, the country is in the dark because the state-owned entity can't keep the lights on. It is important, Honorable Members, to keep the lights on in our relationships to ensure that Parliament continues to serve its full mandate. Whether it is sending him/her your goodies telephonically, schedule an urgent board meeting at their workplace or approach the Department of Tourism to explore other places you can address Parliament's urgent needs. Whatever you do, please make sure that you keep each other turned on.