My story | How this East London man stopped his parents from donating their house to the church

Parents are the decision-makers in their homes.

There usually isn’t much consultation with the children regarding what suburb to live in, what car to drive or what church to go to.

With religion being a major part of many South African families, children are bound to just align themselves with what the parents say.

But what happens when the children disagree with their parents’ decision?

This was the case for Sivuyile Ngcanga, the first of five children born into a very devout Christian family.

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He and his siblings would go to church with their parents every Sunday and attend cell group meetings when necessary, without any objections.

The problem came when his parents, Thembinkosi and Hazel, decided they wanted to donate their Mdantsane home to their church. The family lived in a three bedroomed house in NU 17, Mdantsane.

“They did not really discuss it with us,” Sivuyile recalls.

“I was about 18 or 19 at the time, and they were talking between themselves about their plan to donate the house to the church. Immediately, that was problematic for me for the obvious reason that we did not have alternative accommodation.

“So, my question was that if they give the house to the church, where would we live. And it was not only just us as the immediate family, but we also lived with a few of our cousins at the time. We tried to speak sense into them.

"Thankfully, they listened to us.”

Sivuyile says he is not inherently against the idea of giving to the church because he understands that it is the duty of all Christians to give to the less fortunate.

But his view is that if one wants to give, the giving or donation should not negatively affect other people or your family.

“These false prophets often have agenda, but the Bible says God wants a cheerful giver and how can you be cheerful if your family will suddenly be without a roof over their head?

“One of the things that pastor would often say is that people should turn away from their families and that the only important family was the kingdom family. Now that is not of God. Anything that seeks to divide us inabo ubusathana (it is a bit devilish). God values the family structure, but that man would even say people must discard their clan names because saying them conjures up evil spirits and those are lies from the pits of hell.”

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He says it is important for people to have personal relationships and connections without relying on their spiritual leaders.

“That pastor would brainwash people into believing that he was their only link to Christ. Now if people would read their Bibles, they would see that that is absolutely not true. There is no need for a middleman. Peoples should, as the Bible says, seek God for themselves and everything else will be added to them.

“People should not wait to hear from God only from their pastors. They must have their own relationships with God so that they can hear directly from them. The Bible speaks of the gift of discerning spirits, now if you don’t seek God’s face and have a relationship with him, you will not be able to discern."

Many people who attended that church at the time had donated houses, household furniture, cars and others gave their pensions. The pastor often told his congregation that giving tithes of 10% was a sign of spiritual immaturity and that only those who were "babies" in their salvation would give 10%, because the more they gave, the greater their spirituality was.