Only a few women are lucky enough to look the same after having children. In fact, it's widely accepted that during pregnancy and after giving birth, women will have changes like stretch marks, bigger feet, losing hair or teeth.
And for some women, their bodies are just not the same even after the little bundle of joy has been welcomed into the world.
Baby weight? Some health professionals say since it took 9 months to incubate the baby in your body, you should at least give your body another 9 months to work its way to normal.
But what happens when your child is already walking and talking, and you still are unhappy with your body? Well, this Soweto woman decided to get surgery when she just could not get the weight off.
“It was really bothering me,” Phelisa Veyi tells Drum.
“I had my first child in 2008, and even though my body changed, it was not too bad. I went from size 30 and 32 to 34 and 36. But after my second daughter in 2017 my weight just escalated. I was up to a size 42. It was bad.”
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Phelisa says as a self-employed woman who relies on trying to secure business deals, her looks were a problem for her.
“I looked like imbombozi (a drum of water) I did not have the confidence I need to have when I walk into spaces to look for business. Also, clothes did not look flattering on me because of my shapeless body.
“I then became obsessed with getting surgery.”
The weight started bothering her two years ago, until she finally decided to do something about it this year. She says she visited several doctors who told her she needed to lose weight but she was struggling with that.
“I do not particularly like food. I do not mind eating only once a day. But I must be honest, I used to love to love to drink. A lot. I would drink every weekend. I tried to gym, but I just did not have the time for it because of my busy work schedule. I am always on the road.”
One of the doctors she visited said she had to lose 27kgs before she was considered for an operation. She visited doctors in Johannesburg and Durban, until she settled for Dr Deon Weyers in Fourways.
“At the time of my surgery, I weighed 128kg. The doctor did not say I had to lose weight but he did give me a list of things not to do ahead of the surgery like not smoking, not drinking and avoiding direct sunlight.”
The surgery cost her R163 000, which she paid out of pocket. She first paid R70 000 in June and the balance was paid in July.
It was on Tuesday in August when she when she went into hospital for the big operation. She was getting liposuction and work on her under arms as well.
“My problems were the stomach, under arms because I had extra fat there as well as my inner thighs. Doctor told me that it would be a long surgery, between 7 to 8 hours.
“Let me tell you that recovery was painful. I have had two c-sections and I can tell you the pain I felt then is nothing compared to this. But doctor made sure to give medication for the pain management. Remember with the c-section its just a little cut under your belly, but for this it goes around. Its almost 360 degrees, but not quite.”
Because she is single, she did not bother to ask when she could have sex again because of the recovery and she did not ask if she could get pregnant again because she has no intentions of doing so ever again.
“My recovery took 8 weeks for me to be able to do normal house chores like cooking and cleaning. I love my children, but never again. I will never have children again. And if I would get a partner that would want children in the future, it would be a deal breaker for me.”
Phelisa (35) has never felt so good about herself.
“Oh, my confidence is off the charts. I do not want to wear baggy clothes again. I only want to wear tight fitting clothes that will show off my body.”
She jokes and she says she does not know what her doctor did her stomach or her brain because she no longer has a desire for alcohol.
“He said since he could not make me stop drinking, I should rather drink dry wine. He said I should not drink acidic alcohol. But shame I must be honest and say I tried to be naughty and drink a Savanna and I regretted it. It felt like my insides were on fire and I said never again.
“I also, I was worried he worked on my bum too because I thought it looked smaller, but after I healed properly, I realized he hadn’t. It was just my waste line. I feels so good to be able to see usisi (my private part) again. Even she looks slimmer now. I am just so happy with my body.”
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She says there have been naysayers who say she is wasting money because of how bad the economy is, but she says her happiness comes first.
“There is no price tag on my happiness and confidence. The other thing is that I often struggled to breathe and even walking up a flight of stairs was a mission. So, I do not regret doing this. I can always work for more money. I worked for the money to do this and so I do not have a problem.”
She still wants to get surgery on her inner thighs.
“Once my inner thighs are done, I will be happy. I do not want to get any more work done on my body after that. People say once you get one tattoo you will never stop wanting ink and I stopped after one tattoo. The same principle applies here too. I was not trying to change for any other reason than to look good and be confident. I am happy about my weight.”
She now weighs 108kg.
She also encourages black people to try things out.
"Very often we think there are certain things that are reserved for white people or rich black people and celebrities. I am not like that. I am a dreamer and I think that we could get very far as a community if we just believed in ourselves more."
