When she was young, her peers would call her 'nomdakazana', making fun of her darker complexion. But her grandparents always told her just how beautiful she was, and she believed it.
So much so that as a young girl she would often stand in front of a mirror and imagine the life she would live one day. Becoming an actress, winning awards and just having a good life were some of the things she imagined but sometimes didn't see them happening.
This is why she related very well to her character on Kagiso Modupe's movie Thando.
Zikhona Bali plays Thando on the movie.
She first started out when she was featured on Mzansi Magic's Kasi Bioskop movies. Because she wanted to be an actress, she took acting classes and climbed her way up the ladder of the industry.
Today, she is an internationally recognised actress.
She recently received a Vanguard Award for Best Actress in a feature film early this month at the Idyllwild Cinema Festival for the lead role she plays on Thando. With the rise of bullying shaming and suicide amongst the youth, Thando explores the increasingly prevalent issues of teenage pregnancy, suicide rates, bullying at schools, cyber-bullying, and colourism.
Thando meets an older man who introduces her to the finer things in life. Her affair with her “blesser” crumbles when she falls pregnant and he insists that she gets an abortion. Her feelings of rejection and hurt are further compounded when a video of her being bullied at school goes viral. With nowhere to turn, she is driven to the edge of despair and entertains ideas of suicide.
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Zikhona is still in awe of everything that's happened since she got the role. It hasn't sunk in yet that she's gotten this far. She says this recognition is a big deal to her as she has attended a lot of auditions some were a success but some were not.
“It is the first recognition and it is on an international level, I am happy, thrilled, and excited I am hoping that it will open more doors for me. I was not anticipating it, but it means a lot for me as a young woman from the townships of Gqeberha.”
She's intentional about the roles she plays.
“I always wanted to stretch my limits and play anything and everything. I never had a problem taking any character but I have always known what story I want to tell. I still want to play a girl who knows a lot about knives but with Thando it hit home because I have experienced one of the issues that are tackled in the film,” she says.
Zikhona tells Drum the film carries the story of a young girl who is in high school and always being bullied for how she looks. Thando deals with bullying, grief, and thoughts of suicide. She says she relates to Thando’s character, especially with the element of grief and colourism.
“I lost my grandfather five years ago and I am still learning how to deal with his passing. I never realised that grief could take up so much space in my life [to a point] where I am okay with my life ending so that I can see my grandfather. After I lost my grandfather I also went into a very slow pace where I have to drop everything, packed my bags, and went back home to have a new beginning.”
It was around this time that she had suicidal thoughts but never acted on them. Instead she decided to go back home and find herself again because she thought maybe the industry was not for her.
She also very much understands Thando's colourism struggles a dark-skinned girl who grew up being called 'nomdakazana' a Xhosa word loosely translated as the dirty one.
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“We all know how colourism has been a very hot topic over some time now. We’ve always had it, as a dark-skinned I grew up experiencing the bitter end of colourism. Growing up I was constantly reminded that I am too dark, so that meant I am ugly and I was not being accepted in the society. I think it is still there. It is on our social media and on our briefs as an actor where they state that they want a beautiful light skinned person because light skinned is considered being beautiful,” Zikhona says.
Being affirmed at home by her grandparents helped. Her grandparents always told her that she is a beautiful dark-skinned girl.
“I think my grandparents decided to always praise and validate me and that built my confidence. I would come home crying and they will always tell me that I am beautiful every day. I would be embraced and validated and told that I am Miss Face of Africa. I do still feel a certain way when colourism is mentioned. ”
