It’s not an issue of gender, but an issue of good and bad behaviour.
This is what polygamist Musa Mseleku says after he has been accused of treating his children differently.
Musa put his family and their business out there when he started the reality TV show Uthando Ne’sthembu about him and his four wives.
Some of the wives have another show called Igumbi Lamakhosikazi. His children also have a separate show called Izingane zeS’thembu. On 5 May, the show is coming back for a second season.
One of his sons, Mpumelelo, has gotten two of his girlfriends pregnant, while one of his daughters, Sne, also has multiple children.
South Africans have taken to social media to say Musa treats the two differently even though they are doing the same thing, having children out wedlock.
People say if Sne was a boy child, Musa would not be so hard on her. He would be as lenient has he is with Mpumelelo.
Musa speaks to Drum and he disagrees. “This is not about gender. It is about good and bad behaviour. I also do [not] know how people can compare these two children. I don’t know if people do not remember Uthando Ne’sthembu from season one where Sne and I would fight and make up.
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“Sne has been given many chances and opportunities. She is 29 years old, Mpumelelo is 22, turning 23 years old. There was a time when Sne was given all the love and leniency possible, but she has proven time and time again that she chooses bad behaviour. When it was her time, she was given chances. Something has got to give.
“Sne lives under my roof, I give her an allowance. I buy her children stationery and uniform and pay school fees. Would I do that if I did not love Sne? What does Sne do with her money I give her? She takes it and goes drinking with men and then she goes on TV and says she does that because she is unloved.
“I do not know what society wants me to do. Show me what parent will be disrespected and disregarded for years and continue as if nothing has happened. I am giving Sne tough love because that seems to be the only language she understands. We started by listening, accommodating and understanding, but she deliberately shown that she does not want to be a child.
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“I do not have to tell anyone what I do for Sne because she is my child, but there is nothing that says just because I am her father. I am duty bound to accept her bad behaviour. There was always going to be a time wheN Sne’s behaviour was going to backfire on her. It has now backfired on her. I even asked Sne to save at least R500 for children and she did not do that.
“People were complaining, saying I am a bad parent when I said Mpumelelo should marry a girlfriend he impregnated. The same Mpumelelo is the same person who does not only do things for himself with his money, but he also buys things for his siblings. Today he is being compared to someone who decides to take her money to go drinking and leaves her children for long periods of time. Is that fair? She uses my money to go galivanting. If we get to a point where Mpumelelo is not listening to my advice and me reprimanding him, then he will also get the same treatment that Sne is getting.
Musa adds that he is not defending himself.
"I am just stating the facts, not defending myself. I know my truth. If a child has a child and comes to the parents and apologises and agreements are reached on how to move forward, then that's fine. But you cannot simply disrespect and disregard parents like Sne has done."
