I HOPE this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It's your 30-odd-year-old daughter writing to you.
With a dash of humour and a sprinkle of laughter, I pen this letter to you to discuss the ever-ticking biological clock and the fascinating conundrum it presents.
First things first, let me assure you that I am doing well. I’m in my 30s, which apparently means it’s time to start thinking about procreation like my life depends on it.
While I manage exceptionally keeping my plant babies alive, I imagine a tiny human being would require far more commitment. Right now, I can barely commit to what I’m eating for dinner.
The Unmarried Daughter: Dear parents, don't panic
I know I said that there was more to come with my Tinder tales, but this matter seemed far more pressing, and I will certainly get back to that topic in my next letter. Hold onto your seats until then.
You see, it's not that I dislike children. It simply isn’t part of my life’s plan at this point. Society, on the other hand, seems to have a different plan for women like me.
From my mid-20s, it was like the world was on red alert as my biological clock ticked. Routinely interrogated about my reproductive plans, no one stops to think. No one stops to think that not everyone wants kids and not everyone can medically have kids. As a woman, it’s my life, body and choice.
There are many reasons why people should stop asking women when they’re having babies. There’s infertility, abortion, miscarriages, reproductive health issues, abusive relationships or none at all emotional, physical, and financial readiness. Not wanting kids and simply put, it’s absolutely no one’s business. Whether one means well or not, these questions can do more harm than good.
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For example, many women struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). When left unmanaged, it can make conceiving a child a little more challenging. Many women with PCOS have an unregulated menstrual cycle – they can either have more frequent periods, heavier periods or even no period for months on end. It causes excessive acne and hair growth too.
Life no longer follows those predetermined timelines: Get married at 25 and have two kids by 30. It’s strange that we don’t have similar timelines for more exciting goals. Here’s one we should consider: Travel and explore 10 African countries by 30 and travel to at least five European countries by 35.
Also read: What's wrong with being single
There’s this absurd idea that one should have kids so that when one grows older, there’s somewhat of a guaranteed caregiver. A fun retirement village with bingo nights and a weekly disco party seems far more enticing to me.
My decision, or God’s plan, to not have children does not define me or my worth. I am so much more than my ability to reproduce and raise children. My life is filled with joy, laughter and a sense of purpose that extends beyond my ability to bear children.
With all my love,
Your Unmarried Daughter
P.S. Just a quick reminder, dear parents: I love you dearly. This is a satirical letter to all parents with unmarried daughters. I cannot promise a wedding invitation or kids – ever – so let's keep calm and carry on with our lives, shall we?
