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How abomamazala ruin marriages!

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Tebogo Mahlahlane said men should seek help when they are facing problems. Photo by Happy Mnguni
Tebogo Mahlahlane said men should seek help when they are facing problems. Photo by Happy Mnguni

MZANSI men have spoken out about their pain and frustration, saying their mums usually ruin marriages.

This was revealed during a Men's Heart 2 Heart talk with Tebogo Mahlahlane in Wattvile, Ekurhuleni on Saturday, 17 June. The event was organised by Overflow Solution and The Martins Park.

The host, Tebogo, said the event was aimed at creating a safe space for men to pour their hearts out and share their experiences, pain, frustrations, and expertise to inspire each other.

"Some of the issues which were raised during the event were mostly common, such as their mums gave them the best love as they grew up," he said.

However, things changed when the men married, and the mums became difficult and didn't want to let go of their sons to their makotis. 

"This causes problems as men have to choose between the mums and their partners. In most cases, their partners are the ones who suffer as their husbands don't want to hurt their mothers," said Tebogo. 

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Tebogo said this opens a can of worms that creates havoc in many marriages.

"One of the men even revealed that it's difficult to visit her mother with his wife and kids.

"Through our process of sharing our pain and experiences, we have learnt that more men have been sexually abused or assaulted but were afraid to speak about it," Tebogo said.

"The pain of being treated as less of a human being because of having no income is one of the issues that affect men's confidence and self-esteem." 

Tebogo said many marriages and relationships have ended as a result.

Actor and radio host Simphiwe 'Bob90' Nxumalo was
Actor and radio host Simphiwe 'Bob90' Nxumalo was among quest speaker at the event.
Actor, Musician, and speaker Gabriel Simphiwe Mini
Actor, Musician, and speaker Gabriel Simphiwe Mini believes there must be more platforms to motivate men. Photo by Happy Mnguni
Men attended the event in Wattville, Ekurhuleni on
Men attended the event in Wattville, Ekurhuleni on Saturday. Photo by Happy Mnguni
Event oganiser Tebogo Mahlahlane says men should s
Tebogo Mahlahlane said men should seek help when they are facing problems. Photo by Happy Mnguni

The pressure and stress contribute towards the sexual performance of men.

"Before you are a man, you are a human being. Men do feel pain and it's okay not to have all the answers and to cry or seek help as a man. It is not a sign of weakness but wisdom," Tebogo said.

He said most men appreciated the platform.

The second session saw guests talking about what makes a man.

Actor and radio host, Simphiwe "Bob90" Nxumalo, said the colour of his skin or a man living with a disability does not mean they don't qualify as men.

"People should respect everyone irrespective of their challenges and disability," he said.

Actor and musician, Gabriel Simphiwe Mini, said such platforms are crucial to motivate men.

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