HE had decided to end his life. But when the time came for him to jump off the bridge, the thought of leaving his daughter behind stopped him.
David Mokwena (36) from Tshwane told Daily Sun he drove to a bridge not far from his house on 10 June, but he couldn’t jump because of his daughter (11), who depends on him as she has special needs. He thought death was the only answer to his problems and that he wouldn’t have to explain his sexuality to anyone, especially his family, if he died.
Part of a post he wrote on social media earlier that day read: “I’ll return to this world as a straight person so I can be more acceptable in my family.”
David said he was tired of homophobic people and that as a Christian, he even found it difficult to listen to sermons about same-sex relationships.
He said after his relationship with the mother of his child failed in 2011, he explained to his mum that he was gay.
“My mother was shocked and asked how possible it is because I fathered a child. But she told me I will always be her son and she will continue to love me like she has always done,” said David.
He said things were challenging for him and he even had counselling sessions.
“I was trying to accept myself the way I am. There were times I prayed and fasted, asking God to take away the gay man in me because I wanted to feel accepted in my family and society.
“My sister had been putting pressure on me to hook up with a woman.
“At some point, she and even offered to pay lobola for me.”
David said he is in the process of releasing a book, titled Here Comes A Gay King, where he shared some of the experiences he faced as a gay man.
David’s mum, Elizabeth Matlala (78), said she could never disown her son.
“I love my son with all my heart. When he told me he was gay, I accepted it and told him he will always be welcome at home.”
Maggie Mokwena (55) said she has nothing against her younger brother.
“We might have struggled to understand his situation because he was once in a relationship with a woman and even fathered a child.
“Above all, we have accepted him as a family and he will always be an uncle to my children,” she said.