LEBOGANG Seboni (33) is on a quest to redefine his toxic upbringing, which led him to become an abusive man.
Lebogang said he witnessed gender-based violence (GBV) at home in Alexandra, Joburg, which was perpetrated by his own father against his mother.
He said he soon realised that even his father had learnt this behaviour from his own father.
Lebogang’s taken it upon himself to break this cycle.
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“The normalisation of violence against women at the hands of men is rooted in the trauma men experience as boys and the way girls are socialised to exist around boys and men. There are, however, no excuses for any form of violence against women,” he said.
Lebogang said he had started mentoring young boys in his community and those who find themselves in the same position as he was.
He believes that men could learn to change and do better.
“Like many other boys around me, I grew up knowing violence as a solution to conflict. Whether it was between two men, a group of men, or between a man and a woman,” he said.
He said as a teenager, dating became his first training ground for declaring this version of manhood.
Lebogang said he quickly began to follow the behaviour of his older male relatives and friends.
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In 2020, Lebogang said he was introduced to Father of a Nation (FAN), an NGO that guides young men through the struggles of masculinity.
He said FAN equipped men to be nation-builders, fathers and role models.
Lebogang was now involved in campaigns that sought to eradicate GBV in townships. “I want to help troubled men channel their energy towards building and not destroying communities. Through my work I seek to heal myself and others from GBV,” he said.
