THIS was a happy week, as President Cyril Ramaphosa announced the lift on alcohol sale restrictions.

I can’t wait to drunk-dial my exes and potential lovers.

  • Has anyone checked on Thami Ndlala? How’s he doing? Enough about dubious characters.
  • My heartfelt condolences go out to all the smokers who aren’t allowed ukutshaya until the boss lady, aka Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, has sung.
  • I heard Durban singer, L’vovo, is pleading for a government grant. Hawu, I thought you guys had MaMkhize in Durban and were sorted when it came to cash.

L’vovo told the president artists were used to getting money every weekend from gigs. But he clearly forgot to mention not saving.

  • Shame, Lerato Kganyago played victim on her Instagram page, telling her followers our reporters had issues with her. Madam, we don’t hate your hustle, we actually admire your strength.

Do you know how many celebs saw through Thami before he met and told you sweet nothings?

Don’t act smart when you couldn’t even tell the house you called a matrimonial home for two weeks was rented, including the Bentley you were posting.

  • Many South Africans have been stressing about where their next meal will come from, but that reality couldn’t be further for Hamilton Ndlovu as he showed us how God had smiled at him by buying his family supercars.

For some odd reason, I always thought of Sam Holdings and his Durban-July convoy. Live your life, wena boy, and let haters hate.

  • Finally, Sjava has left Ambitiouz Records after many months of speculations. I’m sure the move has nothing to do with him starting his own company. But if it does, he’ll have time to relax.
  • Speaking of long walks to freedom, let’s praise the Lord for finally answering Phumla Williams’s prayers. After many bumpy years as acting government spokesperson, she’s finally been made a permanent staffer. Good things come to those who wait.
  • How’s Dudu Myeni doing after being officially declared a delinquent director? I know what went wrong, Dudu, you aren’t the problem. The problem is you listened too much to former president, Jacob Zuma.) I was hoping Rasta would take this lockdown period to reflect on his craft and career change.

Now that weed has been made legal, don’t you think you’d do better in that department instead of wasting paint on “portraits”?

  • Can we take a moment to appreciate education MEC, Panyaza Lusufi, for earning his salary. How come the president hasn’t made this guy a minister yet? He also proved to be marriage material, as he was spotted sweeping school premises.
  • Thamsanqa Gabuza, next time you and your friends decide to throw a party during lockdown, halla at your girl. I’ll bring stoko, so you guys don’t have to drive out once the booze has reach nice places.

Fellow South Africans, don’t be like Thamsanqa next week.

We don’t want to piss off our president, as he might command Dlamini-Zuma to take the country back to Alert Level Five.