Last year

HOW well do you know your partner or lover? I’m not asking about his CV or medical history – but what he had for lunch, and why he takes his calls at night in the toilet.

Do you know his favourite restaurant? Do you know his favourite drink or fragrance? Well, don’t feel bad – your partner is most likely preoccupied by the latest news.

Apart from opposition parties trying to get rid of JZ, America got a racist, sexist dude as leader and then protested against him.

It was hectic.

Then there was the man who gave schoolkids sweets laced with a substance that landed most in hospital.

Sometimes it’s okay to switch off – when ignorance is bliss! Sometimes it’s okay to go through your woman’s cellphone calls.

Some folk say if you go through your spouse’s phone you’ll find what you’re looking for.

This hectic period is also a chance for a girl to go through her man’s car to see what remnants of weave or whiff of perfume were left in there by female passengers whom you’ve never met.

When your hubby goes off to golf for nearly a day and returns with super-clean shoes without traces of dirt, you smile!

You smile because you know that to hide whoring is a sign of respect. You’re responsible for your own happiness. You determine your stress levels and snooping is no help. But if you’re just snooping with no intention to confront him, enjoy it honey!

Hell, get yourself a balaclava, hire a private investigator and follow her/him to see if he/she goes to work or to a strange house. You’d hope your man has good taste in women, and cheat in decent
seven-star hotels, as bringing home fleas from cheap motels is inconsiderate. Snoop when bored and wear gloves, so he doesn’t feel disrespected. Offshore bank accounts, additional bonds or images of twins who look like your hubby aren’t your concern if great health and sanity is a priority. Thank God you didn’t have to carry them and take pics of the bonds and deeds.

Look, you can’t expect your hard-working hubby to tell you everything, especially when you know he’ll lie. So don’t stress, just snoop! Hold your head up high, raise your kids and control your stress levels.

Some men will always cheat. So get regular HIV tests, look after your family and don’t worry about it all, just snoop. And remember, don’t stress about things he doesn’t know you know about.

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