8 months ago
South African journalist and television presenter Kuli Roberts. Photo: Gallo Images/The times/Daniel Born  ~ 

INSTEAD of moaning about her, why not be as hot as her?

I’m tired of wives complaining about being left for younger models.

The truth is – most men cheat with experienced older women.

Ladies, this is not Utopia.

Your man’s allegiance is not to your stretch marks or love handles.

Work off the fat, if you don’t want it mentioned.

Sad but true – the ability to read is also recommended, as stupid and inarticulate wives impress no one.

So read – as your man’s girlfriend could be clever. Think Buhle Mkhize.

Keeping your husband is about keeping him interested.

Ladies, avoid marrying a man for his money as he’ll treat you like his property.

Marry a man who’ll be interested in you – and never give you money after he abuses you.

Keeping your husband interested entails looking as attractive as you did when you first met.

So ladies, hit the gym! If he really wanted you in disguise, he’d have married a larger woman.

This applies to men too with their fat bellies.

Your women will replace you with younger models, if you don’t stop excessive eating and drinking.

We know you have money, but you don’t have to kill yourself.

Your partner needs you – not another version.

That’s ludicrous but true, and not to be ignored. Have an inner thigh you’d like to stroke if you want to keep your man.

His nyatsi is fresh, so be fresh as well.

In Utopia, your man would understand that you have had babies.

But this isn’t Utopia and there’s competition.

So, maintain yourself to maintain what he fell in love with.

If you’re a mum, don’t walk around with leaky breasts as if you were a cow.

I recently read about a pastor’s husband cheating on her, and thought, if they are cheating on Jesus’s people, who are we?

Ladies, clearly praying is not enough, he’ll cheat on your praying behind.

While you’re handing out the blood of Christ, your man will cheat, if he wants to. So, don’t stop being the best you can be. It’s rough.

How to keep your man: be funny and educated, and don’t spit in conversations.

Brush your teeth as halitosis can’t sustain relationships.

Don’t embarrass him by sleeping around and being caught.

Be a friend and not a jailer. Be faithful, as that’ll make him stay.

Your man will cheat if he wants to, but don’t retaliate on a cheating partner.

Just never forget that you’re the queen! 

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