Since the winds of change are definitely upon us, you men had better stop resisting it and just fit in.
Does the mood at home change upon your arrival from work? Do you make everyone uncomfortable because the budget speech has you feeling poorer?
Well! Relax dear, and stop acting like a bully who expects signs of gratitude every five minutes. It’s your job to feed and clothe your young, so stop complaining and get a third job.
The great thing about the budget speech is that men will hopefully stop spending on nyatsis. The sin tax of tobacco and booze should ensure he has less to impress his unemployed girlfriend.
Quitting nasty habits seems too obvious. Hopefully, the VAT increase will ensure he is at home eating home-cooked meals instead of spending on an Uber and weave for his sidechick.
It’s a new era people, we have Matamela in charge and you men are going to emulate him and look better too. I love his approach to a healthier lifestyle, which can also do wonders for your sex life because bellies are heavy.
Awesome thing too is some of you will finally be able to see your penis and wifey will be more agreeable to be seen in public with you. Walking around with a man with wide hips has its disadvantages.
So men, be better, the winds of change are blowing. But of course, we know most of you won’t adapt, so below are tips that show your man is not behaving like Matamela.
- When he wants to sleep over during the week, know he is using you for water and food and to save on petrol.
- Don’t let him drive your car, petrol has gone up.
- He wants to suddenly taste your cooking because VAT has humbled him.
- Expecting longer rounds in the sack is him using you. Gentlemen don’t go on for hours.
- If he starts making you bouquets from your own garden, realise it’s rough and he’s cheap.
- Dinners substituted by chickenpiece meals or pizza are a sign he’ll bring you vetkoek soon.
- The Adidas bag presented to you with an extra ‘i’ is a sign your man is buying cheap knockoffs.
If your man wants to be part of the new dispensation, he better stop the excuses and maintain the lifestyle you have become accustomed too.
