8 months ago
Kuli Roberts  ~ 

I RECEIVED this tweet: GOD will never ever send you someone else’s husband. And I laughed,thinking of the orgy that would happen if God did send other people’s husbands. 

But I’m also grateful that God is kind enough not to send single women married men. Single women do prefer the chase and easy men are too suspicious. 

We, singles, are thankful that God won’t give us other people’s husbands. Obviously, that means He will send us our own husbands. 

God, we beg and beseech you to whisper in the ears of husbands that they should stop pestering young women for naked pictures or requests for sex. 

Almighty, please tell them to go home and stay home! 

Sometimes you meet a man. And he’s fine, tight, toned – with sweat beads you want to lick. And he wants you! But you refrain because he’s married and you don’t need drama. 

Oh Lord, tell the husbands to stop. 

Tell them it’s not part of your plan – just lust and lack of discipline. 

Please God, remind them that you would never send a husband to give a young woman an orgasm before noon on a Tuesday inGarankuwa. 

Single women had hoped they’d be protected from horny husbands. But sometimes, it seems God created a huge surplus of lecherous husbands, in a world where single women prefer single men. 

Married men can be spoiled brats. They’re getting their cake and eating it – and the neighbour’s cake as well. It’s so disappointing to find out your lover of six weeks, three days and 40 minutes is married! They break our hearts, Lord. 

It’s enraging to think that for the last six weekends you’ve been panting with pleasure. Where was God when this man omitted to tell you he was married? 

I guess I was so busy screaming God’s name when I failed to notice obvious signs of husbandhood – calls taken in corners or baby food stains on his jacket. 

Hey, even a wedding ring would have helped with the married information. God will never send you someone else’s husband. So, it’s safe to say the sender is Satan.

Yep, the fallen angel himself is the reason you sneak around cheating and having unprotected sex with random girls – all because you have no self-restraint. 

So girls, start telling the hotties to stay away from your husbands, and pray your men do likewise.

Remind them that it’s not God, but Satan who will send your significant other to benefit single women.

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