2 years ago


I’ve been dating this guy I met at work for the past three months, and things are going really well . . . except for one problem: He was brought up very traditionally and I wasn’t. So, he believes in curses, the tokoloshe and is very concerned about what the ancestors think of his every move. Last week, he asked if we could go to a sangoma to bless our relationship. I couldn’t get myself to show any excitement about it. Now he thinks I don’t love him. What should I do?

THAT’S HOW THE COOKIE ALWAYS CRUMBLES, FAITH OVER FATE! Girl, this is a serious issue due to the fact that one’s spirit determines who they are physically, and this may be a difficult battle as it is part of him.

I think you need to tell him how you feel about African tradition versus your beliefs. And if you both love each other as you say you do, a compromise won’t be difficult to reach. KEEP IT! Straight talk is the only way.


Dear Khanyi, I have a dream: I want to audition to go on Idols. I’ve been singing in the church choir since I was a little girl and haven’t stopped. Singing is such a big part of my life. I really believe I have a shot at it if I put my all into it. My boyfriend agrees I’ll do well, but he doesn’t want me to try, because he’s scared I’ll get famous and won’t be interested in him any more. He says there are too many charming hunks on that show. Help me please, Khanyi!

A MAN WHO SUPPORTS YOUR DREAMS but is not willing to stand by you and help you achieve them is as good as a man who doesn’t want to see you grow and become the best you can be.

He may love you, but if his love is not enough to help you find success, he’s simply not good for you.

KICK IT! Follow your dreams! Life gives you one shot.


I’m a 27-year-old guy dating a 20-year-old girl. She’s super hot in bed! But now, I’ve met an older woman at college. She’s my lecturer and she must be in her 40s. I can’t wait to get to class every day, because of the wonderful discussions we have and I’m afraid I’m falling for her. She really has an interesting mind. My dilemma is: She’s my lecturer, so making a move on her is risky, but she stimulates me in ways my girlfriend can’t. I also don’t want to dump my girlfriend, because the sex is really good. What must I do?

MY GUY, THIS IS NOT REALLY COOL. If you have a wonderful girlfriend who satisfies you and does nothing to fault you, you have no right to even have such thoughts to begin with. There’s a line between bosses, colleagues, teachers and lecturers. They are there to educate you, not entertain you. KICK IT!

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