YOU never know what you have until it’s gone!
This was the sentiment of Gogo Dineo and her husband of 14 years, Siphiwe Ndlanzi, known to many as Mkhulu Mkhatshwa, who used to sing his heart out on videos posted by his wife.
But three years ago, the couple decided to separate, a decision that was not welcome by many.
However, gogo Dineo recently confirmed that they were back together and couldn’t be happier.
The couple shared with Daily Sun that the biggest part of their separation was driven by the fact that Mkhulu Mkhatshwa became his wife’s thwasa.
“The sad reality of it is that roles had to be shifted. My husband had to kneel before me and call me ‘ubaba’ and I had to treat him like all the thwasas he was training with,” said gogo Dineo.
She said she lost herself in the process and forgot about her role as a wife.
“The cracks in our marriage started to broaden. This change took a toll on my family and my kids started to resent me because they felt I had lost all respect for their father.
“I was masculine and exercising my powers as a gobela forgetting that I still had to be a caring wife. At the time, I didn’t see or acknowledge any of my shortfalls. Everything was normal to me and I believed things were under control,” she said.
Gogo Dineo said although their separation was a mutual decision, a lot of people were against it.
“Our families begged us to fix things, but we had already made up our minds. Some of my spiritual children took it so personal they left,”she said.
She said they were also convinced that their ancestors also wanted them to separate.
“I can say that at some point our ancestors created a rift between and allowed the separation because they were aware that we were a ticking time bomb. They afforded us time for introspection and to heal from past pains so that we could start again,” said Gogo Dineo.
Mkhulu Mkhatshwa said it was a really difficult time for them, but their strong beliefs and respect for their ancestors kept them grounded.
“We maybe wouldn’t have found our way back to each other if we weren’t following this spiritual path.
“We are still learning from our mistakes and finding ways to separate the dlozi life from our personal life. In the spiritual realm, I’m Mkhulu Mkhatshwa, gogo Dineo’s son, but at home I’m the man of the house,” he said.
He explained that creating a balance between family life and ubungoma is tricky and it’s better when your partner understands.
“Learning from our own mistakes, we try to educate partners of amathwasa about this gift that is so demanding and changes certain aspects of your life.
“We involve them a lot so that one day they don’t get angry when the wife can’t sleep at home for three days because of umgifi. They must feel free to support how ever they can. That way, they can learn about the dynamics and complexities of idlozi,” he said.
The couple said they learned a lot from their time apart.
They said they had to love each other from a distance while fixing themselves.
