WHEN THANDEKA’S husband died three years ago, her father-in-law saw his chance.
He told her he wanted to make her his second wife.
NOW SHE HAS RUN OUT OF WAYS OF TURNING DOWN HER BABAZALA!
What hurts Thandeka Mabena (33) from Wattville, Ekurhuleni, the most is that all her in-laws were okay with his proposal.
Thandeka told Daily Sun her babazala kept calling and she couldn’t block him because he was family.
She said he first proposed a year after her husband died in KZN during her cleansing.
“He told me he wanted to take me as his second wife,” she said.
“I thought he was joking and I just laughed about it.”
But earlier this year, babazala Mazikayifani Mabena (59) started calling her.
“I told him he must stop calling me. He told me I will come to my senses,” she said.
In August she got a call from her mamazala.
“She asked if I had thought about the proposal. I was shocked. I didn’t want to be rude to her, so I told her that I’ve thought about it but I can’t go through with it. She told me her husband wouldn’t give up. She wished me good luck.”
Mazikayifani said he believed Thandeka belonged to the Mabenas and not any other family. He said Thandeka was an independent, successful woman and feared that men would use her for her money.
“I see no reason for her to marry outside the family,” he said.
Muzikayifani said he was protecting her from the evil of the world. “She was like a daughter to me. The closer she is, the better I can protect her. Obviously, when we get married we’ll end up having sex, but that’s not the main reason now,” he said.
“I love her. She was a good wife to my son. Now I want her to be a good wife to me.”
Thandeka’s mamazala, Nomasonto Mabena (41), said she was okay with the arrangement because it was traditionally accepted and legal.
“I’ve accepted that my man wants to keep her in the family.
“I also know that he’s not the kind of person to give up, so I don’t know what she’s going to do.”
Nomasonto said her son was lucky. “We’re still family to her. She still sends us money every month, even after I told her that she didn’t have to,” she said.
Thandeka’s boyfriend said if this didn’t stop soon, he would leave Thandeka.
“I love her but I have my whole future ahead of me. I can’t be competing with that man,” he said.
He said when he told her to block the Mabenas, she refused.
Cultural expert Mtimande Ngwenya said he knew of siblings marrying their brother or sister’s makotis, but this situation was unheard of.
“I’ve never dealt with a babazala who wants to marry his makoti. It’s culturally acceptable for Thandeka to marry her late husband’s sibling, but I’m not sure about a babazala marrying his makoti,” he said.
