FROM the depths of darkness and despair, hip hop artist HHP pulled himself back into the light.
On Monday, HHP – whose other name is Jabulani Tsambo – told Gareth Cliff all about his year of hell in 2015.
HHP was talking to Gareth about his new music video, Pasopa, when he confessed that he had been so low that he tried to kill himself three times!
“I was thinking while my policies (life insurance) are still active‚ let me just go out. Fifteen minutes in the car. Hose pipe‚ whatever. I’m listening to Frank Ocean in the car. I’m thinking 15 minutes I should be done. An hour-and-a-half later‚ nothing happens. I’m listening to the song on repeat now. I get out the car. It’s time to take the kids to school,” said HHP.
After he tried gassing himself in another car and it also failed to kill him, HHP went to a suicide assist website to find out other ways of doing it.
“The last attempt‚ I’m fighting with my girlfriend or some shit. They tell me to try helium. I get the helium tank… I turn this thing on and I’m thinking ‘This is finally going to work’. The wifey has just gone to her friend’s house and by the time she gets back‚ I’ll be cold. The website says it should work in eight minutes and it’s an hour- and-12-minutes later now‚ so I start cursing,” said HHP.
It was then that HHP had the thought that changed everything.
“This voice came to me and said ‘Dude‚ if you really want to die‚ you need to live. If you really want to die‚ you need to do that shit that you’ve always wanted to do and you’ve always been scared of doing and one of those is speaking my mind.”
Now he’s so determined to avoid falling back into hell that he’s doing what it takes to stay positive. He’s recently deactivated his Twitter account.
“Right now‚ the environment is so toxic. Even if I say ‘I feel like a peanut butter and jam sandwich’ someone will say ‘Oh‚ so you hate Cassper‚ now?‚” HHP said.
Last month, he married his long-time love, Lerato Sengadi.
To listen to the interview on Cliffcentral. Com, click here.