4 months ago
ROCK STAR PASTORS IN TIGHT SUITS
South African journalist and television presenter Kuli Roberts. Photo: Gallo Images/The times/Daniel Born  ~ 

I RECENTLY decided to accept people on Facebook after years of confining my acceptance to close friends and family, but boy do I have regrets!

Many of the men I’ve accepted are just too horny.

Since accepting, I’ve had Turks call me and invite me to Istanbul, and Indians from Bangalore texting me as “Baby”.

American Caucasians are also out of control, looking for wives.

Obviously, I blocked them all.

I don’t want to be that type of friend.

Since when is Facebook a place to pick up people for sex?

My goodness, I go there to see how well my school friends are doing, and not to be hunted.

Why would you think it’s okay to call a stranger just because she accepted your friend request?

That’s not all that I found on Facebook.

Some guy named Jay Israel has been circulating pamphlets for a lunch event that costs from R500, promises snacks, lunch and refreshments.

He calls it “Single, Saved, But Horny”.

Yes, seems like Mr Israel thinks he has a cure for the Christ-loving but sexually deprived.

Forget Israel’s lunch.

Forget the fact that you don’t know his theology background or profesional record.

Why must Church be sexually charged?

Is Israel a sexologist?

Don’t go to his saved but horny lunch – as you will be the snacks, hun!

What’s going on? Is it winter?

Or is it loneliness that makes people so desperate to talk about sex, they even dress it up as a Christian event?

What happened to singles? They used to call a sex buddy or satisfy themselves with sex toys when they were in need of sexual pleasure.

Last year, women paid R5 000 to be found husbands at Gallagher Estate.

And right now, most of them are still horny, stupid and missing five grand.

How silly can you get? 

If you are horny, never entertain strange men from Bangalore or attend silly churches with pastors who think they are rockstars in tight scrotum squeezing suits bought from the boys department.

I saw one who called himself a prophet being dramatic during a service, accompanied by an organ and a hype man.

Why are people willing to be fleeced of their hard-earned money by so-called men of God in tight suits?

These attention-seekers are peacocks, not men of God.

Avoid these boys who call themselves prophets, as well as Facebook requests from strangers who might want sex.

Read a book or make yourself useful. You may be horny, but you’re not stupid. Stay home!

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