NOT SURE IT’S MY BABY writes:
Hi sis’ Khanyi, I’m a 24-year-old guy and I’m dating a girl, but I’m not sure how old she is. She said she’s 24 but her ID says she’s 27. When I confront her about it, she ends up crying. She has also cheated on me twice. The first time was when we started dating, so I forgave her. The second time was when I went away on a short course for three months. I left her pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. After that, she said she gave up on everything. I begged her not to give up, because I love her but she stopped taking my calls. When I came back from the course, we managed to work things out. We’re together now and she’s pregnant again. The problem is – I don’t know if I should believe her that it’s mine.
OH BOY! BROTHER, IF YOU DON’T KNOW HER AGE, how are you going to know if that’s your baby or not? Do you intend to marry her? Are you in a position to fend for your girlfriend and your child?
A child is a celebration of both of you, but what are you celebrating with her? I feel you both need time out to just talk. Your relationship seems to consist of more confrontation and disappointment than bliss and harmony. You need to find yourselves before committing to anything – let alone a baby. KICK IT!
SHE TRUSTS HER EX MORE THAN ME writes:
I’m dating a girl and we have a newborn baby. She also has a five-year-old daughter with her ex. I want to pay ilobolo, but the problem is we keep fighting over her ex. She protects him and trusts him more than me.
Once, I posted a picture of the two of us, our baby and her daughter on Facebook, saying I was proud of my beautiful family. Somehow, her ex got to see this and told her about it. She freaked out about it, but later apologised for overreacting.
I told her she’s too protective and believing of her ex and that it hurts me, but nothing’s changed.
WOW! THE BITTER CASE OF THE EX! Your girlfriend needs to choose whether she’s involved with you or still involved with him.
If it’s progressed to a point of ilobolo, she needs to understand she’s about to become someone’s wife and should own that role. Matrimony means you, her future husband, becomes her first priority and any other man falls second to you.
It’s rare for a man to love another man’s child wholeheartedly and you’re giving her this gift. Sometimes we need to hear this and be reminded of how blessed we are.
We tend to look back on our past because it’s what we’re familiar with, not realising the future is all we need.
She’s unfair and disrespectful to you. And she needs to be told so. How can you pay ilobolo for a confused woman? KICK IT!