2 years ago


Hi Khanyi. My boyfriend and I have been together for many years. We met in college and we both had dreams to accomplish incredible things in the media industry.

Since then, I’ve managed to hustle my way up, worked hard and made it. What worries me is that I still don’t know what his goals are, and he’s always depressed about how bad things are with his business.

I try to go online to look for jobs for him, and send him links – but he doesn’t apply. I don’t know how to help him anymore! When I try to advise him that he can have his business on the side and get a day job, he tells me he will never work for someone.

What makes me angry is that I know he is smart and good at what he does – but he’s so hard-headed. I’m tired of having to spend money I worked hard for on him, and not buying myself lots of cute bags and shoes.

The thought of spending the weekend with him drains me because I know I’m going to lose thousands and I hate it. My fear is breaking up with him. I love him so much. If only he could listen to me. What should I do, give him a chance or walk away?


There’s nothing as painful as sharing dreams with your companion and then achieving them alone. That’s when your achievements are made to look like a burden. But in the very same breath, there’s nothing as beautiful as belonging, and a faithful man who respects you.

But it’s unnatural when a woman is the provider, or the one who facilitates the whole relationship. If he loves you, he should fight hard to match you. You already know the answer to this. Stop living in fear and start loving yourself.

And as for the thousands, you need to stop! You are not married to the man, and he needs to earn your investment as much as you have earned his faithfulness. KICK IT! Or you’re going to wake up five years too late.



I’m a girl of 19 who fell in love with a guy who promised to pay ilobolo. He went to Australia and came back a changed man. Meanwhile, I had found a handsome guy who brings out the best in me. Should I move on with the new guy or hold on to my man? Help, before I do something stupid!

FIRSTLY, YOU ARE 19. At that age I was committed to the father of my child, but I was too young.

Today I’m still trying to discover who I really am and what my true potential is. I ask you to relax on wanting to be seriously committed. Commit to learning about yourself and looking forward to things like turning 21, travelling, meeting people and partying.

You need all the experience you can possibly find to master life. I haven’t yet – and neither has my mum. Nor you at the age of 19. KICK IT! You haven’t even scraped the surface of life.


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